inspiration

Tuhan Pasti Sanggup

2012-02-02T23:32:00.004+11:00

Kuatkanlah hatimu
Lewati setiap persoalan
Tuhan Yesus slalu menopangmu
Jangan berhenti harap padaNya

Tuhan pasti sanggup
TanganNya takkan terlambat 'tuk mengangkatmu
Tuhan masih sanggup
Percayalah Dia tak tinggalkan mu
(Dia kan mengangkatmu)

Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kq3BFRDl5I

Di saat kita merasa lemah, di saat kita tidak memiliki jalan keluar, Tuhan Yesus adalah tempat pengharapan. Sering kali situasi membuat kita merasa gagal, tetapi kutetap percaya, bahwa Tuhan akan membuka jalan dengan cara yang ajaib. Bahkan, segala hal yang terjadi diizinkan Bapa dengan maksud yang baik. Walau kadang kita tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa, biarlah kubawa semua doa kepada Dia, sebab Dia Bapa yang mendengar segala isi hati kita dan Dia sanggup. Kuatkanlah hatimu..

It has been 5 years long..

2012-01-02T21:43:00.013+11:00

Compared to the last two years's old and new, this year was much more peaceful and I felt blessed. Gratitude was the words to depict, for having this momentum to countdown towards 2012 and to view the fireworks, accompanied by my sole closest friend that I had at that moment. Looking at the sky together, viewing the blasting colour of the fire, it was a very pleasant time, as we both were looking at the same sky, the same fire, at the exact similar location, 5 years ago, back in 2007.
For this another unexpected opportunity, I truly thank God.
Sometimes, certain friendships are hard to maintain.
The most precious ones need to pass through fires and pains, and the one that stands out the most and survive, is the most valuable, the most beautiful and the most precious. Sometimes, you might not know how to express it, sometimes your thanksgiving are kept only for yourself .For we would not know what friendship truly is, and might would not fully understand it. However, all the sharing, the keeping of gifts for years and all the thoughts, & time spent would prove on how much we value this. For sure, You wouldn't know how long it would last, and how long you are permitted by the Author of Life to maintain it.
Each second is precious, each moment is memorable. Will cherish this always.

2012 - The Year of God's Favour

2012-01-02T21:29:00.007+11:00

Entering 2012, to have new faith for receiving His Favour.

For this new year, I pray and wish only one thing in my spiritual life : to be closer, to be deeper, to be more rooted, and to experience much more than before. 2011 had been a truly awesome year. I dare to testify that I was brought out of a miry clay, our of a darkness and He had really raise me up, giving me mercy and new spirit. The year of multiplication and promotion really happened. And by His grace, He had transformed me daily, sanctify me each time, and had written a beautiful 2011 for me. And most importantly, I give thanks for His huge trust in me, especially in my ministry in praise & worship.

I want 2012 to be the year where I soar with Him. To experience His presence that I never experience before, to worship in a way I never worship before, to go deeper, to pray more and to be bold in proclaiming His kingdom, to bless people around me especially through songs of praises, through music. I want to give my all, my best and to run this race only to please and to be His true worshiper. That's my goal, that's my heart, that's my prayer.

May He hear my heart, love me,strengthen me and walk with Me, until I have finished the missions and calls that He has prepared for me in 2012. By faith, I receive His favour.

好朋友的特殊烹饪

2012-01-02T16:38:00.004+11:00

New Year's Eve lunch : 2011
我的好朋友的特殊烹饪特别棒. 萧友，好高兴，对我们的友情，我非常感恩。

Mon Anniversaire 2011

2012-01-02T15:57:00.015+11:00

Being grateful for another year that I am entrusted to live with, indeed. Sincerely I could not be thankful enough for all that have happened. As for this year birthday, I would like to thank you as much as I could, for all the people in my lives, all the wishes, all the cares, all the gifts, and most importantly, the sincere hearts.

28th December 2011 noon, my Dondon ex colleagues; Alan, Mindy, Jay, Yong & Fiona had organized an awesome Korean dinner together and Cake time. Although we had been busy and hardly spent time with one another, reflecting back on how much they still care and loyal up to this day, I could not help it, but just smile whenever I remember them. Thank you all. Thank you also for Alan, Mindy & Jay for the lovely presents.

In a certain manner, honestly I missed the company that I had similar to the year before, but for 29th December 2011.. it was rare a solitary birthday. Perhaps suitable for me as it is amiably private moment for me. Pleasant indeed to indulge in my own world, ripping off the gifts with the love of mystery. Thank you and thank you for all of the gifts. I love each one of them, and all of them made brought happiness. And surprisingly, there are certain items that I have been always wanting to buy, yet, are given on my birthdays. Example : Bobbi Brown Eye Shadow (from Tika),2012 Diary (from my dear Liv) & Peter Alexander's clothes with Napoleon make up kit (from dear Syella). It must be Him, who knew what I need and put it in their hearts...Thank you Father.

And also, I will never forget my three companions, who have always been there. I love their gifts so much... It truly depicts who much they know me and understand who i really am. Thank you very much: Al, El & Ben. These are really, truly, marvelous. Also, thank you so much for Anastasya, who was the first giver of the year. I love that Paris box a lot. Missing her. Apart from that, thank you for Kristi, who celebrated my birthday on the 31st, thank you for your effort and the sharing that we shared. Thank You also for my FA members who celebrated my birthday on the 1st of January 2012. And as for all the wishes and greetings, may all of you be blessed !

Lastly, the dinner for this year birthday: a nonetheless moment that is as important, for it is a tradition for me to spend that hours with people who are essentially special and impertinent on my special day. And as for this year, it was a privilege to have my most loyal & closest friend to accompany me. It was simple , memorable & the loveliest dinner I have for my birthday throughout my life. One of a great gift that I really could never ever say thank you enough, is the long lasting quality times and friendship, that is extremely costly. With all of my heart : Merci Beaucoup.

As Time Goes By - A Tribute

2011-12-27T15:08:00.009+11:00

When no one's around, when everyone's gone, the time you have with the only company left would be much valuable. These 3 consistent Saturdays have been pleasant, and worth to cherish, especially when you don't really have much chances throughout the year to have such quality times together. However, when you are permitted to spend time with, after such a long separation, it is beautiful.

Appreciate the endless generosity, the hours spent, all the wonderful meals, all the sharing and life experiences that I am entrusted with. All the ups and downs, all the goods and the ugly sides of life, to be able to know all... I would say, more than I deserve to know.. made me treasure this more. To think about it, this is the longest, lasting, friendship that I really have in Melbourne.. and I pray that it will last..I would never forget the time when you stand by me when no one else does, to offer me helps and company without complaining when no one else around.. Ceaseless gratitude... Words would not be able to describe how much this meant a lot to me. And since, I am limited and lacking in verbal expression, writing and prayers would be the only perfect channel of thoughts and emotions, the Lord knows best.

Christmas Eve, 24 December 2011, has been a memorable dinner, a wonderful Christmas present for me. We smiled, remembering that we had our first fine dining together in 31st December 2007, such a long time, but it just seems like yesterday. Amazing it is, to meet a person, similar to you, who has shared so much, with such a strong bond. I may or not know how do you view on this. But knowing myself how truth and precious this is for me, it is more than enough.

My only wish, is to ask for nothing for myself, but to have this friendship continues, as time goes by, to be able to witness how you beat the winds and conquer all the challenges, to be able to witness you grow more and more in Him, to be able to witness you to gain the best of the best, and to be able to see you happy and smile always.

BIC Choir 2011

2011-12-27T14:39:00.008+11:00

Such an honor to minister together with these lovely people, who share the same passion, the same spirit and the same love towards our Father. We are not professionals, some of us have zero music background, we don't have a vocal teacher, but we have one thing in common : a heart to worship. Thinking back, it is indeed amazing, how we really had gone through song after song, a challenge after challenge, many busy practices and time spent in prayers. And thus, 2011 has been such a rewarding year. Of course, without Him, this ministry is just a mere performance of human works. It is only because of His grace that this choir exist. So we give all the glory unto the Lord alone. I believe that, we are still allowed to sing and serve, because His spirit is in all of us. And I know that this ministry will continue to be used to bring blessings and to proclaim the good news.

I am looking forward for 2012. Another grace, another year, to work and to give our best for this ministry. It would be great to meet the members again. Missing you all. God bless you.
Love, Jes.

It Had to be You

2011-12-05T22:30:00.006+11:00

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found
The somebody who could make me be true
Could make me be blue or even be glad
Just to be sad just thinking of you
Some others I've seen might never be mean
Might never be cross or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else gave me the thrill
With all your faults
I love you still
It had to be you
It had to be you
It had to be you

Betty Hutton
"It Had To Be You" (1944)
From the Paramount Picture "Incendiary Blonde"
Written by Gus Kahn and Isham Jones
Orchestra conducted by Paul Weston
Released on Capitol 155

Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h809JwAGB0&feature=related

Lift Your Voice

2011-11-30T22:28:00.005+11:00

By: Lakewood

Quien puede satisfacer
MI ser como Tu
Quien puede amarme
Darme consuelo com Tu
Quien pudiera ser mas verdadero y fiel
Quien puede satisfacer
Quien puede satisfacer como Tu

Who can satisfy my soul like You
Who on earth could love me
And comfort like You do
Who could ever be more faithful true
Who can satisfy
Who can satisfy like You

CHORUS
There is a fountain who is a King
Victorious warrior
And Lord of everything
My rock my shelter my very own
Blessed Redeemer who reigns
Upon the throne

Hay una fuente
Y es el Rey
Es victorioso
Y El es el Rey
El es mi roca
Mi salvacion
Bendito Cristo
El reina con poder

Sing Hallelujah
Sing Hallelujah
Sing Hallelujah to the King
Sing Hallelujah
Sing Hallelujah
Sing Hallelujah to the King
Aqui

Lift your voice and sing
Praises to the King
Let your worship rise
To the true Messiah
Gifts we bring
Oh oh Lift your voice and sing.

Alza tu voz y canta
Alza tu voz y canta
Alabanzas a el Rey
Alabanzas a el Rey
Que tu amor asceinda
Que tu amor asceinda
Al real Mesias
Regalos traemos
Alza to voz y canta

Canta Aleluya
Canta Aleluya
Canta Aleluya a el Rey
Canta Aleluya
Canta Aleluya
Solamente a ti Senor cantamos hoy
Canta Aleluya
A ti lo hacemos solo
Canta Aleluya a el Rey
Sing Hallelujah
Sing Hallelujah
Sing Hallelujah to the King
Aqui

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_E7MAInCy0
http://youtu.be/V_E7MAInCy0

Longing...

2011-11-21T21:53:00.006+11:00

When indulging myself in those mesmerizing tunes, or to be surrounded by the walls of stunning images, or to be engulfed into the realm of alluring images.. they all made me wish for... A different way, a different path ... I can't wait ... though it is required ... I know I do not belong to the current field.. No matter how much I work, with countless of hours of dedication .. No matter how much skills I gain, transforming to be the status quo of that world. it is still, not my nature. There is a limit and an invisible line on how much I could endure.. I know it is temporary, and it would lead not further.. for it is a certain frustration to be coerced, wearing a mask...Alas ! such a miscast... A desire to change, a longing for unspeakable passion .. Please, I humbly plead.. may I return to where I really should be ? I only wish to pour out my all, to live to the fullest..to be who I really am, and to dedicate the beauty of a stroke. .. to paint a melody that only certain hearts could fathom.. How ideal, how alluring... to have that passionate wishes.., living in the idealism of the dark blue mind. Eyes gazing at the radiant stars....Searching for the tiny path, the vision would never cease to dream... Impossible it is, as if entrapped in a labyrinth.. I still determine to dream... surely, One day, I would return to be who I am supposed to be, & only the Master Creator knows when.

Complicated

2011-11-15T11:16:00.003+11:00

Certain matters are just beyond our control
You do not welcome them, yet they are just unexpectedly present.
As if living in a maze with endless paths and ways to choose,
things are complicated.. and it is complicated.

I need wisdom to see a better picture from above.
If i move my pawns wrong,
I will lose my chess.

Guard me o Lord, for I am needy.
At least the hope in You will give me direction.

A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps (Proverbs 16:9)

Every Prayer

2011-11-02T20:39:00.003+11:00

Every Prayer - Israel Houghton. feat. Mary Mary

I heard 'em say He brought me from a mighty long way
And now today I can testify that I believe it
And on my way I realized He's the one who kept me
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He has captured every tear assuring me He hears

Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
And I believe He's a God that always answers prayer

I heard 'em say the prayers of the righteous availeth much
And now today I can testify that I believe it
Now on my way I wanna let you know that He will keep you
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He's captured every tear assuring me that He hears

Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
I believe He's a God that always answers prayer

Don't despise the tears you've cried
Or the prayers that you have prayed
Heaven heard your every word
And the answer, the answer's on the way

I heard 'em say there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on and you will see there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things

Oh, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on, hold on, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
You can make it, you can make it
You can make it for he has done great things

I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God who always answers prayers
Yes, He does

http://youtu.be/Kijc_5327yE

The Lesson for November 2nd, 2011

2011-11-02T20:15:00.005+11:00

Struggling through with illness and physical conditions did led to constant battle of the mind. It was ceaseless; worrying about undone works, the coming BIC Christmas event, and my own ministry agenda. Especially when the throat had been affected ; sure it made me more frustrated. Hence, the natural 'me' would fight herself and rummaging my mind, engaging me negatively as opportunities were given. Worries, anxieties and many kind of emotional fought through, making me down and worst, aroused one of my hard-to-deal weaknesses : my dear temper.

It took over me, when last minute work were given, when I was left alone, when I had not had an inkling on how to juggle it, and when I was petrified by my own stupidity.. and that was what had happened on the 2nd November 2011, afternoon around 17.45-ish...

Yet..I was kind of 'not allowed' to have my flesh and emotion overtaking me..

My manager came back... and she was exceptionally calm, patient, and .. she took over the work and allowed me to left and not doing overtime. My reaction : my heart melted and.. I should be ashamed of myself.

Second significant thing: I met a random old lady in the train.. She talked to me, asking me about my health and how my life had been going on. I told her about my work struggle and my personal struggle. She smiled. And she told me that she just had her finance exam today. Wait a minute, she looked old to me.. and I asked her further and she gave me the account that she was 59, she is a doctor by profession, and she was doing her Master Degree right now. Also, she has had her research and journal published all the time.

I was.. amazed.. Yes, of her intelligent and knowing that I had met a very special person.. but, more than that... I felt deeply in my heart that, it was Him who arranged for this meeting. The old lady, with her smile spoke to me that : "You have to take care of yourself" and her last word before I departed, " You have to change."

" You have to change" - Yes... I really do. The old lady was a diligent, humble and persistent. I was positive about this... and yet I was already a loser, for complaining my discomforts, my imperfections, and my losses, from living in my current schedule and life. From my childish emotion and temper, from being self-centered and taking care only for my duties and dos... while neglecting a lot of things..., from... not trusting that : He is able... To pray and to read Words daily are good. But not good enough, if I do not act and live with it. Now is a time to test my faith, yet, I responded otherwise.. But, I never expect that He just simply used a random old lady to open my eyes. Especially for these times when I want to learn to truly bring worship into lifestyle... I have to be able to go through the test now.

How could I say ? Thank You Lord, for opening my eyes, that You do love me..

That's Why I love You

2011-10-03T21:57:00.003+11:00

http://youtu.be/QP7UZ-vm8tQ

That's Why I Love You - Israel Houghton

Hallelujah, what a mighty God
You made a way for me
You made a way for me
No one like You
Wonderful You are
You freely gave to me
You freely gave to me

Hope and a future
Now I live to worship You

That's why I love You
Because You first loved me
Yeah You first loved me

Thank You Jesus
My whole life has changed
You laid it down for me
You laid it down to me
Out of darkness
Called me by my name
You shined Your light for me
You shined Your light of

Hope and a future
Now I live to worship You

You gave me hope
You have me future
I love You
'Cuz You first loved me

Album: Love God, Love People. 2010

Quotes and Phrases from Brother Lawrence

2011-09-07T22:00:00.005+10:00

Quotes to be remember from Brother Lawrence (1611 -1691):

To that end I know the heart must be empty of all else, for God wishes to be its only processor without emptying it of all that is not Himself.
It is not needful always to be in church to be with God. We can make a chapel of our heart, to which we can from time to time withdraw to have gentle, humble, loving communion with Him.
I work before God simply in faith, with humility and with love, and I apply myself to do nothing, say nothing and think nothing, which can displease Him.
Our sole business in this life is to please God.
God seems to choose those who had been the greatest sinners to bestow upon them His greatest favours.
I looked on Him in my heart as my Father and my God. I worshipped Him there as often as I could, holding my spirit in His holy presence, and recalling Him to mind as often as I found myself turned aside from Him.
God very well knows what is our need, and all He does is for our benefit. If we knew how much He loves us, we should be every ready to receive equally at His hand the sweet and the bitter. Even the most painful things and the most hard would be sweet and pleasing to us.

Spiritual Principles:

To look always to God and His glory in all that we do, say and undertake; that the end we seek should be to become faultless worshippers of God in this life as we hope to be throughout eternity.

Practices Essential to Acquire the Spiritual Life

The most holy practice, the nearest to daily life, and the most essential for the spiritual life, is the practice of the presence of God.

To worship Him in Spirit And in Truth:

God is spirit and he must indeed be worshipped in truth – that is to say by a humble and genuine worship of the spirit in the depth and centre of our soul.

It is God alone who can see this worship, a worship we can so often repeat that the end it becomes as it were natural, as if God were one with our soul and our soul one with God. Practice makes this clear.

To worship God in truth is to recognise Him for what He is and to recognise ourselves for what we are.

Concerning the Presence of God

The presence of God is a directing of our spirit to God or a present remembrance of God which can come about either through the imagination or the understanding.

Means of Attaining the Presence of God: a great purity of life & a great faithfulness in the practice of this presence.

Bibliography:

"The Practice of the Presence of God", Brother Lawrence, translated by E.M. Blaiklock, foreword by Jennifer Rees Larcombe, Hodder & Stoughton Ltd, London 1981.

Sharing from Workplace

2011-09-06T14:24:00.011+10:00

My current occupation as a customer service coordinator..

I have been working for almost 9 months. Do I like it ? not really. But i live with it, without a choice.
I got this job: by grace. (Dec 2010)
I never ever even thought about applying for customer service job.(In fact, I didn't apply. A kind hearted manager approached me in church and I was given this job).

Some background, Before and After:

Honestly I admitted that I did and maybe do, or do, have problems with people and temper.
I prefered a quiet environment of work, where I did not have to speak to strangers everyday, with no disruption when I am doing work. Another thing is, I am so used to solitary and I love it. Being alone doing work, had been my life for years.

My academic life requires me to spend a lot of time alone. I could shut myself in a library reading and practicing for whole day, without talking to a single soul. I was a student, who preferred to eat alone so that I could spend time studying. I was friendless even in few uni subjects, without an inkling of the need of a company.

These moulded my characters to be a perfectionist, a loner and an independent individual. Followed by this, ended up working in a hectic place where I committed, I strived, climbed to the top, became on of the best. Yet, my temper was built up lot there, being impatient, being easily angered or "manipulation" of stuff were a daily norm of behaviour that did not only acceptted as tolerable, but sometimes are required.

Then after I quit the company, I was jobless for 8 months, depressed due to personal problem, and desperate for a job in 2010..

22th December 2010, I was accepted in the current place.

Initially, it was a really hard place to work due to the huge differences in the environment in comparison to my uni and previous work situation. Like it or not, I need to talk, forced to accept complaints and learned to be patient.

I sort of asking for mercy.. begging and telling myself that : One day, you have to get out from this place.
And the more I cried out, the more I struggled...and the more depressed I become at work. Sanctification and denying the true you is extremely hard.

mid April 2011...
Finally, I started to realise that, I have to pray for the work place. Then I took a day in a week to start praying for the place. May the Lord bless this place, that's the main point, bless the souls, save the souls. And change myself, for I realise that my being here ... have to be the light of the place..
It doesn't have to be a long prayer.. but I believe that, when we do it, faithfully, God works.

As for me, I was undergoing a hard changes. I realise that God put me here for a training. To learn to talk. To learn to rejoice, to learn to smile and care and BE HUMBLE. Scolded and being complained sometimes, but what else I could do, then just keep my mouth zipped..It is hard, but whenever I started to let my nature to have the stage, " No " and " SHut Up" are the frequent terms, bombarding my heart.

Gradually

The more we obey, the more we realise, it is He taking over us.
To be honest, the job is still very boring and dry (honestly), but I live with it. Believing that one day I still could go out for the place.But not now.

Sometimes, I received gifts from customers ( clothes, books, foods that I never expect and I did not deserve these. And I wonder, why did these people buy me stuff ? They do touch my heart..and will be remembered.

I myself still have struggles with my flesh, with all the weaknesses I have and yes, I do need His strength to be patient daily, to care, to at least be nice to customer, and to remember HIm. Daily prayer before work is important. I humbly encourage you all to give 5 mins prayer before you work or class or exam or etc.

Epilogue

Remember Joseph ? Who was sent to Potiphar's house and the place was bless ? I believe that when His presence is in us, He controls the place. No one could harm you unless He permits. And the place would have a different atmosphere.

Sometimes, God led us to a place or a situation, where we complainted a lot. Yet, in the end, we never know that, He is planning of something and His plan would never be as what we thought.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Kiss of Heaven - Darlene Zschech

2011-08-24T19:22:00.009+10:00

The Kiss of Heaven, by Darlene Zschech : Highlights and Quotes

Grace: a disposition of kindness and compassion, free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God, a state of sanctification by God, divine love and protection bestowed freely on people. Favor: an act of gracious kindness, a feeling of favorable regard, considered as the favorite, bestow a privilege upon.
Grace is used to talk about our position in life, while favor is used much more frequently to talk about our mission. Grace to live and favor to move.

For it is by grace that I live. This, I have only totally understood fully over these past 2 years. Reminding me always, that even the chance to breath, the opportunity of being alive, the privileges of enjoying all the blessings and the honour to serve Him, are indeed, His abundant grace for me. Thus, with a joyful heart. I bless, because He has blessed me. I love, because He has first love me.

July 2011 had become one of the significant months for me in my walk with Christ. It is significant due to the commissions that He alone has bestowed upon me. I remember the night of July the 9th, when pastor John Mendez imparted the anointing of the "Favor of the Lord" upon many brothers and sisters that came. This is followed by another few occasions of the anointing through Pastor Johan, and my personal mentor, whom had led me so much in my spiritual growth. Favor of the Lord is real, when we receive with faith. My life started to change since that time. Since then, my walk has been directed towards fulfilling my destiny, the calling.

Heaven Exchange : moments when God literally exchanges our weaknesses for His strength, our brokenness for His wholeness. Walking with Him involves surrendering my old nature to Him. The more we dive into the truth, the more I am aware of the sinful nature in me. And the more I realise how dirty I am, the more I need the blood of Jesus to cleanse me. At first, it was hard, it was painful , I denied it, and I rebelled for not wanting to change. I tried to defend myself, until I realised that, it was either following Him or no. I couldn't stand in two boats anymore and I had to choose. Thank God, I surrender. Impatient, easily angered, hot-tempered, workaholic, over perfectionist, self-pity and extreme emotions are all my weaknesses. Bringing all my weaknesses to Him increase my dependency on Him. And He did honor my honesty. There was a time when, before I led worship that I came to Him saying that: Lord, I was not a good speaker, but I surrender. Amazingly, He put words in my mouth when I served.. and I know, it wasn't me. It was Holy Spirit, speaking through me. This is heaven exchange. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9)

True worship is a daily lifestyle that honors God. The differences between worship and music : worship is inclusive, not exclusive. The music of worship embraces every man, woman and child. The heart of worship implores us to bring an offering of heart. It allows everyone to come and participate. On the other hand, music was created to carry, capture and communicate the presence of God.
As a musician, both through academic training and personal lifestyle, I had been living in a mindset of a musician, having the idealism of a musician, having the attitude and the character of a musician and even, I had to admit that I had the pride as a musician. This is what it means by music is exclusive. It was difficult and a constant struggle to distinguish the line of music and worship. Many times I separated the the essence of worship and performance and this did not please the Lord. I do love music, and I love to sing. But when I sing with the mindset of a performer, my heart would not be fully His. It became a human show, and the fragrant of His presence would be absent. Yes, this is one of my weaknesses that is in need of constant changes. I humbly need Him to put my heart of worship to Him above everything, and music would only be the instrument to His presence. Let me be His instrument, for He created music in me to please Him, and not myself.

The Lord doesn't require how good you are. He only desire your heart. I had been blinded by the pride that I had, and it was only because of His grace that finally I come to understand, this year.

When coming back to the heart of worship, then I realised that, adoring Him is the most important. It is not a matter of how good or talented I could sing, how musically knowledgeable I have.. but His presence is the most important. He alone deserves the worship and He is seeking the true worshiper who worship in spirit and truth. (John 4:23-24).

Worship alone is not enough. We need to be rooted in His words. And the more He speaks to us through the words, the words become so alive that, we would be hungry for more and more. Pray for revelation when reading the words as Human 's logic would not comprehend the hidden truth. Seek for the meanings, let it become alive for the Words of God are powerful.

Darlene quoted that 'The more we know of God's Word, the more the Holy Spirit can use God's truth to direct us in our daily walk.' Respect and fear the Lord, and humbly ask for it, and for the knowledge of the Words are one of the true treasures of the world.
" He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)

Advices concerning pride:
The most dangerous to the flow of favor, is our own pride. When God's favor is shining on us, it tends to put us in the spotlight of attention. Signs of pride: easily offended, self-centeredness, fighting for our rights, isolation, needing to be served.

Pride and self-righteousness often hinder ourselves to be used fully by God. For carrying pride means we do not need Him. This is a very crucial point that I myself try to heed, especially when I know I have several gifts. My mentor, friends and even leaders have constantly giving advices about pride and I want to be careful with it. For this, I need God to change my heart, renew my mind, deny my flesh and undergoing the process of sanctification. I pray that as I encounter Him more and more, I am more in need of a humble heart. So that, when I bless, I shall serve in humility. So that when I sing, I sing with a pure heart, and so that, when I lead, I lead people to salvation.

Be clothed with humility. Humility is freedom from pride or arrogance. It is not thinking of yourself as being lower than a worm, because if we are going to lead people, we have to be out in front. But leading is all about taking people by the hand and pointing them to Jesus - not showing off our own wonderfulness ! "Who may ascent the hill of the Lord ? Who may stand in his holy place ?He who has clean hands and a pure heart?" (Psalm 24:3-4)

Undeniably, Darlene Zschech is an incredible woman of God, a true worshiper of the Lord and an inspiring leader. Reading this book has blessed me so much and taught me heaps. Her insights inspire me to deepen my walk with God and to shout and declare His name on high.

" I long to be an extravagant worshiper that God would discover the song in my heart to be elaborate, over-generous, and wasteful in my pursuit of Him" - Darlene Zschech.

I Thank Thee, for spiritual Parents

2011-07-25T21:32:00.011+10:00

From acquaintances to different friends, from friends to brother and sister..
It wasn't smooth relations. I ran away from them before..I avoided them before..
It is rare, that I eventually have acknowledged them as my mentors...
Unexpected that the relations have head to this direction.
Heeding their advices and countless hours of counsels.
Disciplined I gained, as they rebuked in love.
Respect and awe I have for them.
For wisdom and the presence of the most Holy is in them.

As I prayed with them together in unity,
in the presence of all my brothers and sisters..
A sudden swept of His presence fell upon us.
On my left, my beloved sister..
and on my right, my precious brother..
All of the sudden, the Lord spoke to me.
" They are your mom and dad, your spiritual mom and dad"
Engulfed in this sudden revelation..
I visualized myself as a little girl,
Hand in hand, being held in the middle by her parents.

I cried without understand, yet a gentle voice revealed to me that
He wanted me to experience that: a family love.
Which I lacked in real life.
Oh how much grateful I was.
That He is restoring that empty part of me.

My sister, I love you so much
My brother, I love you so much
And I know that you both love me.

Your faithfulness aided me to grow
Your prayers touched His heart
to have me set free.
I won't live today without Him
and I won't be who I am now without
your teachings and cares.

Time is near
for both of you to go away,
as the Lord has prepared great ministry for both of you,
both heading to each calling in each location.
I thus, would remember always.
Treasuring each moment I have inside my petite heart.

A big girl now I am,
running towards my greatest call.
A daughter has to grow up.
And I would made both of you proud.

Soon, would be my turn
to declare His name on high
and bring Him glory with my voice and heart.
Father Adonai, I thank thee for my spiritual parents,
Whom I love dearly. Thank you Lord.

" I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up" - Psalm 27: 10

Dedicated to :

Sabine Kusuma & Stanley Hanitio.

25th July 2011

Wedding for the Deserved

2011-07-25T20:18:00.005+10:00

23 rd July 2011 would be the most important day for Jenny & Michael, as they joined together, hand in hand as husband and wife.

From the my deepest heart, I congratulated them wholeheartedly and was truly privileged to be one of the witnesses. It was a blessed wedding that she deserves.I have known Jenny as a woman who truly love God and through her testimonies, I have been greatly encouraged. She forgave and stood strong in her times of turmoil and even her best friend called her ' God's princess.' As I looked at her on her wedding day, I know that she is so fulled of joy.Whatever pains and sorrow she had in the past, God has always known. And He has especially created that day for Jenny. For she truly deserved it. My brother Michael, and sister Jenny, God bless you both for your new walk of life.

My love for piano..

2011-07-20T21:55:00.008+10:00

I know I have drifted away from my path since 5 years ago. The days where I spent for music, live for music, with piano as my lover...The solitary hours in practice room... the breath that I used to hold each day.. Wishing to turn back the time, yet it is impossible. However inside me, the burning desire still persist.. and every time I listen to the tune.. " my heart longs for, my soul yearns for'".. oh.. how much I wish I could go back there. Looking at my circumstances now, I shut my eyes and and the whole of me saying that, " that's where you suppose to be". No matter what I do, no matter what I toil for, alas ! I am still a musician. My love of music still prevail. It is in me and it will never change. The whole emotion and body feel so much alive when it comes to me. It is so strong that I could feel my whole being concur with the melody.. Being a melancholy, I give thanks.. Rachmaninov, Prokofiev, Chopin, Liszt, Debussy, Ravel, and Scriabin.. I miss thy music.. .. more than a person..as if how much a young lad fallen in love with a maiden.. Sounding mad..yet, this is my secret longings.. I sighed, when I see how far I have been separated.. Such a fool I thought... to turn down my honour degree.. Yes, regret exists, however.. mistake has been made. I should have appreciated this in the past, I should have stayed focus on track... Surely the presence taught me to look for the future.. There is still hope. The love for music is still with me. When will I be able to be united to the black and white. The wondrous harmony, the grand echoes of the orchestra... How much I long for you..How much I dream for standing in the middle of the stage again.. Lord God, this is the secondary passion that I have, apart from You... I could only surrender for the current. Yet, before I die one day.. I pray that I would be able to play in a recital once more.. Yes, in a grand hall, being poured by all the lights. The love for music is with me An artist, I am.. Yet, for now.. I surrender my desire to You... the inmost me... I dedicate my art to You.... I have my dreams. but let Your will be done.

Sampai

2011-07-18T20:51:00.003+10:00

- Sidney Mohede

Semua Harta Di Dalam Dunia
Semua Tahta Yang Dapat Tergapai
Tak Kan Bisa Menggantikan Kasih Bapa

Semua Karya Yang T'lah Terlukiskan
Semua Nada Yang Telah Terdengar
Tak Kan Bisa Menyaingi Cinta-Mu

Sampai Habis Bumi Berlalu
Sampai Siang Malam Menyatu
Kan Ku Puja Dan Ku Sembah Engkau Ya Bapaku

Sampai Nama-Mu Ditinggikan
Di Setiap Hati Dan Bangsa
Kasih Sayang-Mu Dan Setia-Mu Kan Menyertaiku

Such a deep lyric, such a revelation, such a mature understanding

Yes Lord, nothing can compare to Your glory, Your throne and Your great love.
Eventhough the earth will fade away, You are forever worthy.
One day every knees shall bow and all tongues confess that You are Lord.
As for now, forever shall I worship You.
(J.P.T. 18 th July 2011)

Destined for a new journey

2011-07-14T19:18:00.005+10:00

Months have passed alongside with changes that occur. April 2011 marks the beginning of the new chapter of my life. Indulging in nostalgia, I picture myself as a solitary figure, almost silhouette, walking alongside the wave of gentle ocean during sunset. Step by step, my feet touched the sandy soil, smooth and rough at the same time. And there seemed to be no time limit, just a setting, just a moment.

Sometimes, my feet bleed when the shells cracked my skin, disturbed. Sometimes, the bitter cold wrapped against me, as if pushing me to retreat. And many times, countless tears fought trying to win the storm of life. However, I move forward. Not knowing when it would end.

Like an ugly duckling who wondered around searching for identity, I had lived that kind of life. Thirsty to know 'who I really am', and I had been hunting for the answers for eons and ended up in myriad of human sorrows and heartaches. Being lost, I would have fallen into deep darkness...

Amazingly, grace is calling. And destiny would never fail. When you have been chosen, you couldn't run away. Miracles offer an unthinkable direction and I responded. Indeed, when a good shepherd is He, my Lord would never let me go astray. I have returned to the purpose of life. And I have cherished the new identity that would never be taken away. A meant to be, like the miracle that transformed the swan.

Yes, I am still a lady who loves solitude. I am the same melancholic fellow who appreciates aesthetic beauty of arts, music and literature, a sure idealist person with complex personality, yet undeniably, towards the better. I have founded my calling. I have discovered the new beauty, the intimate presence of The Lord of the universe, how great Thou art. Reasons behind I understand naught, wisdom of man would never attain to comprehend. Never would I expect the bestowing of such privilege. Only I know, it is an honour to heed. What I have before would all be secondary and I am pursuing the higher voice, the higher purpose, even though prices have to be paid.

and now, though there are only one set of footprints, my Lord carries me. Our sights couldn't see, but faith does. And He will never leave me nor forsake me evermore.

Dedicated to : my beloved brothers and sisters whom have been sent by Him to bless me. My gratitude towards all of you. God bless.

The Cat and the Butterflies

2011-04-05T23:15:00.006+10:00

The Cat & the Butterflies

Simple artwork, dedicated to my workmate, Phoebe.
Her smile always encourage me and made my days better.
It will never be coincident that we both like cat and purple =p
I love you and this painting is for you and it comes with a message:

" For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
~ Psalam 139 : 13-14

You are precious in His sight.

Thank you Lord for allowing us to work together :)

I love her

2011-04-05T22:46:00.007+10:00

Despite having busy days as a full time house-wife and a piano teacher, she still serves faithfully as piano accompanist at church, she takes English lesson, and regularly join another choir group in the city.. and recently she is taking flower arrangement course.. and that's the roses that she proudly arranged and displayed at our living room.
This woman is my mom.

It takes like almost 20 years for me to truly understand her.
She is very strong and independent woman. Beautiful, strict and never tolerate things against her rules. The queen of the house she is.. and I never remember her spoiling me. She always pushed me to achieve the best and sometimes, she is just too stubborn. Yes, we disagree on lots of things. I argue with her lots and sometimes never comprehend what is on her minds.. However, looking back at my own self, I do have her reflections.. I have her strong will, I have her stubborn mind, and I am critical just like her....

Realizing this, I want to be a better daughter for her. I know I am not a very good one.. and I don't know how to show my affection to her. But I do cherish her .. I appreciate her for what she has done for me, for taking care of me, for teaching me and especially introducing me to music..and my faith in Christ.

Having her is a blessing and I love my mom.

Lord, I thank you for giving me my mom.
Thank you for my dad
for my brother Jason
my brother Joshua
and thank you for my family..

The Phoenix

2011-03-15T22:34:00.003+11:00

~ The Phoenix ~ my painting produced on 15th March 2011.

Moomba Festival

2011-03-14T23:14:00.006+11:00

Moomba Festival 2011 ~ 13th March : Moomba outing with my beloved friends Tika, Erlin, Ben, Mik & Stephen =p Though it was only an hour and we had to left because of the rain.. most of us had a great time. The fireworks were cool and the 3 rides !!!! I love them all !!!!!! That moments were just.. Super Fun ! Made me feel younger, excited and vibrant! The night was followed by a mini rendezvous at the cafe as the rain poured and the temperature dropped ~ hot chocolate and mud cake was simply bliss ~~ Best Moomba Trip compared to the last 3 times in the past. Thank God for the friendships and thank God for the fun !

MSO Tributes to John Williams

2011-03-14T22:35:00.008+11:00

Melbourne Symphony Orchestra 's performance of Star Wars and Beyond ~ A Celebration of John William was certainly the best orchestra concert that I enjoyed most ~ And I thank God for this special opportunity to have this chance to enjoy the music so much ! The Saturday of 12th of March 2011, would be memorable and I really wish to have this opportunity again.

Firstly, John Williams has always been one of the master of film music that I respected. An American composer, conductor and pianist, he was educated in Julliard and had won numerous awards, including 5 Academy Awards and 4 Golden Globes. Notable in his works are the famous theme scores for the films : Star Wars, Jaws, Superman, Jurassic Park, E.T., Harry Potters 1& 2, and Catch me if You can. And truly, I enjoyed every single notes, every single pieces that was performed, all pieces were high and standards and really fantastic !

I grew up watching Jurassic Park, I watched E.T., even Star Wars and my mom used to play the soundtracks which meant I had been accustomed to the tunes and have grown up loving his music to such a degree that, it is never boring for me to listen to Catch Me if You Can's soundtrack and Harry's Wondrous World for 8 years ! And having this chance to listen to the live orchestra for these pieces played right before my eyes took all my breath away !

John William has this typical characteristic in his music which defines how much he loves it. The sweet beautiful melody, the clever usage of 'leitmotiv' and how he painted the characters of each different scores, proved how much genius he is. Main influences of his music are the prominent figures such as Strauss, Wagner, Prokofiev and Stravinsky and I would never forget the beautiful mournful tone from the solo violin for Schindler's List and would always praised the 20th century compositional idioms that he used in the opening for E.T.

Apart from that, MSO was so lucky to have the great maestro Anthony Inglis as the conductor. He is currently the Music Director of the National Symphony Orchestra in London and has vast outstanding repertoires throughout his career. His versatility as a conductor, his eloquent of speech, the warmth and his deep understanding of John's music was obvious through his deliverance. The way he created the usual rigid atmosphere of the concert hall into high valued theater representing Star Wars with the costumes were entertaining, as if the conductor had transformed into the characters itself. And, I do personally love his English accent !

Trust me, though it sounded odd.. as I listened to the delicate tunes from John's music.. the music and the harmony melts my heart so much.. that.. the feeling and the emotion were incomparable... even to the feelings that I felt when I had my first date. That is how much strong I love certain music and John William's is one of my beloved.

He cares

2011-03-14T18:28:00.009+11:00

It would be a waste not to share something good. And of course, no one but ourselves who experienced would understand best.

Especially in times of troubles, when you felt crushed, or when you had lost or even failed countless times. And thoughts like ' maybe I am not meant to be ' or ' perhaps I am just as bad ', would crept into your minds and made the rest of the day a gloomy day.

That was what had happened on the 10th of March, 2011. For those of my entrusted friends, they knew what happened, for I informed them, yet my pride never let them knew the exact feeling that I kept. I knew I failed, and yes I am not giving up, but, sometimes you did yearn at least a comfort. But no one would knew if you never asked for it.

And yet, one of my ex-colleague, and a good friend of mine, suddenly rang up out of the blue and offered to buy me a meal for lunch, which he never did before. Without even thinking, I thanked him and waited eagerly for the meal and I appreciated his effort and cares so much. And to tell the truth, I was about to forgo my meal for that day... Just a little hint of what had happened : losing $150 for nothing did made me a little bit down and I didn't have much money left..

Just when I had finished my meal, another friend and sister of mine, came suddenly and bought me my favorite plum tea. She never came before and she never did this before. And.. that was the moment when I came to a realization that... this were not a coincidence at all.. And my first instinct made me pondered and asked this question : " Are You comforting me, Lord ? "

It all made sense. I believe that, Alan & Winishe were sent and used by God to comfort me, though they may not believed it.

Even when the problem seems so small, even when you secretly bottled up everything inside, Your Creator, who knows the number of your hairs (Luke 12:7), will always cares what we are going through.

See I have engraved you on the palms of My hands;
your walls are ever before Me
Isaiah 49:16

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. Isaiah 49: 16

Gothic Calligraphy Homework

2011-03-01T22:46:00.012+11:00

It has been aeons... since the last time I really put myself to a certain degree of 'serious' artwork..

Though not exactly up to standard, finally I have managed to get a grasp of writing for A- Z Gothic lettering. Next, I can't wait to learn the Italic writing ~

Doing art work, which rarely did since I took Bachelor Music, was used to be my life for years.. I mean, painting and drawing are my first exposure to arts when I was a little girl. And I used to paint a lot..when I did my School back in Indo and.. during VCE years (Art & Design courses).. But since, I concentrated on music.. I didn't have time and motivation to paint anymore... and yup, I do miss it.While doing this project, the lettering was the hardest to tackle... all the words are supposed to be straight, rigid and in proportion... Mine doesn't ... Yet, I enjoyed during the decoration the most ~ The feeling of using my painting brush again was simply.. 'Zen' .. like what my friend, Len, always mentioned. Painting with brushes, especially in black, is just my forte.. and.. I love it !!!! Hopefully and hopefully... I will get inspired more to pick up painting again.

Life & Business

2011-02-13T21:50:00.004+11:00

Here I am, a 26 years old individual, with 40 hours a week full-time job and countless missions to accomplish.. and since the day, I had touched down into the suburban area, things just get more complicated. Time, Distance & Transport : are just the battles that I have to conquer each day with limited capacities that my body could endure - thank God.

This is just one of the examples : 14th February 2011 - would just be another ordinary day with extra errands to run :

1. A voyage to the airport at 5.40 am. for the last 3 hours City of Melbourne Volunteer Work : Student Welcome Desk 2011- not so pleasing, but I have no choice; a non objection verdict by the company.

2. 11.am - 18.pm ~ theme of the day : Fulfilling my fulltime duties & responsibilities : Hoping for more paperworks, which I do enjoy. Yet, not my world.

3. A rush hour go home journey, followed by doing private tutoring for English , until 10.pm.

That's all I guess, for Valentine Day.. Cheers !

Days that follow will be just the same; each day is meant to survive and each day I have to find a way to chuck in all of these duties from work to house chores, in addition to vocal class once in two weeks, calligraphy class once a week, choir score projects, translation projects, tutoring...

... et my hobbies : reading books, listening to music...

and also my priorities in : daily night time devotional, prayer meetings, Friday cell, Saturday rehearsals for singing and coming soon each week choir teaching, plus Sunday busy schedules...

...... which means.. I have barely a time for things that I am trying to do such as : learning French, piano practice and ... I wish I could find time to paint again..

and... next month : my objection would be taking driving lessons again. Transport has become my biggest problem. It is exhausting as well, for not being able to travel to & forth independently..And I tell you, I would open the bottle of champagne on the day I get my license !

Lastly ~ families & social circles : these need time as well, and I still need them and I do love them... Time management for this matter, so far, I would reward myself an Average.... Perhaps ?..

Well, with all these, I am much aware that I still need strength to carry on all these... and yes, I do. Without His strength, I would have collapsed any time soon

~ It's only by Your grace, that I could live today ~

Catch me If You can

2011-02-08T15:40:00.002+11:00

First viewed the film on 10th February 2003 for the first time.
Have had read the novel twice in year 2002 and 2007.
One the 13th June 2010, I have watched it again for the forth time.
‘Till today,the impression never cease.. Do you concur?

Directed and produced by Steven Spielberg, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Frank William Abagnale Junior & Tom Hanks as FBI agent Carl Hanratty, released on December 25, 2002, ‘Catch Me if You Can’ is a comedy-drama film based on the life of Frank Abagnale. Set in the 1960’s the film chronicle the life of Frank, who before his 19th birthday, successfully conned millions of dollars by posing as a Pan American World Airways pilot, dead-heading to many destinations in the cockpit jump seat, and he impersonated as a Georgia doctor (complete with a forged Harvard Medical School degree). Furthermore, he created a phony document of Harvard Law Transcript and then he legitimately passed his bar exam and masqueraded as a Louisiana attorney, which is awesomely impressive... His primary crime was cheque forgery, becoming so skilful that the FBI eventually turned to him for help in catching other cheque forgers.

Frank Abagnale is now one of the world’ most respected authorities, working with the FBI’s Financial Crime Unit on counterfeiting and secure documents, including check swindling, forgery and embezzlement. He has been a consultant, lectured and instructed hundreds of seminars worldwide and continues to offer his services for free to the FBI. Moreover, he has published several books, manuals and articles and has designed secure checks that are utilized by businesses worldwide

One of the factors that the film gets my attention is the setting. A near-flawless palette of period looks from the ‘50s and ‘60s times. The sequence of 'cat and mouse' chase between Frank Abagnale & Hanretty, also has succesfully created a lasting impression through its witty, clever scenarios, the humour that it contains and the mockery within. Especially the Soundtrack, which I still listen too for over 7 years, the collection and tone of music assembled dealt greatly with 1960’s pop culture. The fusion of several older generation songs with a similarly retro style of jazz in the underscore is obvious. John William’s composition for this particular film represents the perpetual chase. “The Float” is shifty with attractive rhythmic romp that is cyclical in its vibraphone and woodwind rhythms. It exhibits an excellent saxophone solo with ominous dramatic undertones.

Personally, I love “ Broken Home” the most, where the music volume has been reduced to melancholy solitude carried by a slow solo harp and lonely shadows of the solo sax and piano performances that graced the score's beginning. Perhaps, the whole OST has summarised a well-documented music album with indeed, a well genre-constrained score. The music simply never bores me. And it has been proven so strongly as I have listened to the soundtrack over and over again for more than 7 years.

Both reading the biography and watching the movie is inseparable. It would not be complete without doing both activities. Indeed, it has become one of my favourite movie to watch. While, the book itself is not to be missed, and if you decided not to read the book, you miss all the details.

Sources:
• Editorial Review, Filmtracks – Catch Me If You Can, written on 14th December 2002, revised on the 10th January 2009. Copyright © 2002-2010, Christian Clemmensen (Filmtracks Publications).
http://www.filmtracks.com/titles/catch_me.html

• Frank W. Abagnale, with Stan Redding , Catch Me If You Can – The True Story of a Real Fake, Bantam Book, USA 1980.

• Margaret A. McGurk, DiCaprio, Hanks have fun, so catch them if you can – The Cincinnati Enquirer, Friday, December 27,2002.
http://cincinnati.com/freetime/movies/mcgurk/122702_catchme.html

• Susan Goodwin & Becky Bradley, American Cultural History, Lone Star College – Kingwood.1960 – 1969.Copyright © 1999 [Kingwood College Library]
http://kclibrary.lonestar.edu/decade60.html

• The Wikipedia Encyclopedia. Catch Me If You Can.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch_Me_If_You_Can

Chinese New Year Eve 2011

2011-02-02T23:41:00.007+11:00

I always love Chinese New Year Eve, as it is the best time to gather all families and relatives in Melbourne. For 2011, we celebrated the night for the first time at home. Except, the Yee Sheng (鱼生), all foods were home-cooked by the mothers of the families. Sadly, this year, my cousins : Shalyn 's family and Nith 's were not able to join us. Hope to see you guys soon. Looking forward to celebrate this with friends as well. And, I miss all my other extended families, cousins which are scattered all over many different locations. Wish you all a Happy Chinese New Year 2011. Giong Hi !

祖大家新年快乐。恭喜发财

Nasi Tumpeng

2011-02-02T22:56:00.007+11:00

29th January 2011, House Warming at Robert & Nina 's residential home =p

The hosts had been very generous in providing us the meals. We had Indonesia's famous Nasi Tumpeng. Which usually, is only served to celebrate important event. The philosophy of Tumpeng signifies the geographical condition in Indonesia, especially Java to be fertile island. The tall cone shape of the rice symbolized the mountain in Java as tall and magnificent. This unique dishes was served as a means to signify blessings for the house. This was followed by prayers and blessings by the invited pastor and many friends who love and supports this family.

All foods were delicious, including Nina's home-cook 'Bak mi', or Indonesian noodles. The guests had great time enjoying themselves in the house. The house-warming was a success. And not to forget, Himelda's Indonesian style cheesecakes and her signature Tiramisu were really wonderful :)

'Après Un Rêve'

2011-02-02T21:24:00.002+11:00

Gabriel Faure (1845-1924)'s ''Après Un Rêve' is one of my favorite French vocal music.

Truly lyrical, beautiful, melodious and deep.....moreover, it speaks of dream, night, mystery and fantasy.. Though I have known for this song from the vocal accompaniment 4 years ago with my friend, a vocalist.. I had naught understand fully the meaning of this lyric back at that time... instead... the meanings flow naturally now..maybe it is due to the maturing process that is happening....it is probably the most suitable music to immerse in during solitary times, especially during peaceful slumber accompanied by the warm voices of the gentle rain.....

' Après Un Rêve'

Dans un sommeil que charmait ton image
Je rêvais le bonheur, ardent message;
Tes yeux étaient plus doux, ta voix pure et sonore
Tu rayonnais comme un ciel éclairé par l’aurore;

Tu m’appelais, et je quittais la terre
Pour m’enfuir avec toi vers la lumière;
Les cieux pour nous entr’ouvraient leurs nues;
Splendeurs inconnues, lueurs divines entrevues...

Hélas, hélas, triste réveil des songes !
Je t’apelle, ô nuit, rends-moi tes mensonges;
Reviens, reviens radieuse
Reviens, ô nuit mystérieuse

Translation:

'After A Dream'

In a slumber charmed by your image
I dreamed of happiness, ardent mirage;
Your eyes were more tender, your voice pure and clear.
You were radiant like a sky brightened by sunrise;
You were calling me, and I left the earth
To flee with you towards the light;
The skies opened their clouds for us,
Splendors unknown, glimpses of divine light...
Alas! Alas, sad awakening from dreams!
I call to you, oh night, give me back your illusions;
Return, return with your radiance,
Return, oh mysterious night!

Dealing with today's Problems

2011-01-31T23:08:00.008+11:00

I have been failing my drive tests too often that, I have reached to the point where... I am devoid of any emotions left.

What concerns me the most, is the money. I have spent lots of sums of money for the sake of getting a license, and I don't think I have had ever spent even that much for clothes. My mind told me that, perhaps I am not even meant for the license. Perhaps I don't have the talent for driving at all.... Though it feels sucks.. I just have to resign to the fate and ..the only thing I know is, well.. just pay the money for another try.

I did not have anyone to call too when I finished the test, except notify my best friend via text messages. My feet brought me straight to the place that I used to put my commitment & energy there.. yes, my former work place don 1.

As I sat down and waited for my meal, I felt slightly nostalgic feeling towards this place. The atmosphere, the vibe, the pace.... Though it is still as it is; small, old, smells of teriyaki sauce, not as clean and bright as my office, woody and a little.. dodgy ? .. I still have that sense of belonging and pride to this place. At least this is a remaining place that I still have some kind of triumphant feel, indescribable in words. At least this place acknowledged me to a certain degree.. And I know, I have decided to move on from this place, never coming back, but still, maintaining the relations.

My brief visit comforted me. Perhaps meeting my ex managers were the reasons, or was I looking back to the olden days. Yet, life moves on and Don1 have taught me that, I did able to climb to the top, no matter how many times I struggled there in the past. It was a success and I have to do the same at my current life situation, especially for my present job.

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows - Soundtrack

2011-01-31T22:43:00.003+11:00

The score for Deathly Hallows: Part 1 is composed by Alexandre Desplat, a notable French composer.

The first review of the soundtrack was released on October 31^st, 2010. The soundtrack received many positive reviews. ‘Obliviate’, the Prelude of the Deadly Hallows portrays the sad, mournful story, appropriate for the projection of the movie. It is neither a mysterious fantasy theme, nor a triumphant battle score, it is unique and full of depth, reflecting the progression of the emotions that the film contains.

At the time I watched the film for the first time in cinema; I noticed the melancholy tones and how the background music attracted me so much. When I found out that the composer was Alexander Desplat, it made sense to me. Having been listening well to Desplat‘s Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I could identify the uniqueness of Desplat’s composition; the sombre timbre, the many uses of dark tones, the beautiful melancholy tunes. And after I watched Deathly Hallows: Part 1, for the second time, I decided to purchase the soundtrack.

One month has passed, as I listen to the soundtrack all the time and I have fallen in love with it. ‘Obliviate’ sets the scene for a sad, mournful story and perhaps, highly appropriate to introduce this film. The music lends quiet emotional depth in ‘Harry & Ginny’, some tense, robust action with outstanding precision in many other tracks. In ‘Ron’s Speech’, the emotion in this music is high above success. It is so much serene and beautiful that I couldn't help but really feel it. Through the music, it depicts Desplat's genuine understanding towards the characters in the film; the painful transition from children to adult that the characters have to face, the struggles, and the deepest feelings, the dark forces, have all been illustrated with the entire soundtrack.

Nevertheless, John William’s scores for Harry Potter‘s first two movies received much credit as well. And Harry’s Wondrous World, ceaselessly, has been my favorite for 8 years and will always be.

No doubt, these soundtracks serve as my faithful companions when I was alone, in my room, which illustrates the mood of the story for Harry Potter series vividly. And honestly, some of the music suit my moods very much.

Kitchen Workshop Buffet

2011-01-26T00:38:00.009+11:00

25th January 2011 - 18.00 pm @ Kitchen Workshop, Crown Entertainment Complex.

Having mon premier Unilodge Company dinner buffet ~ A cozy effective way to get together with the managers & other staff members, while having a chance to have your ideal way of dining experiences.

Instead of rushing to the food counter and taking as much food ravenously, I did it step by step and never against the order by starting from:
1. Appetizer - Tomato & Basil soup with croutons, garnished with Parmesan cheese
2. Salad - Garden salad with French Dressing, Beetroots, Tomatoes, Pasta Salad, etc.
3. Entree - Cordon Bleu Veal with Chat Potatoes, with many others available here and there.
4. Main Courses - Grilled Pepper Fish, Roasted Chicken, & Roast Beef.
5. Dessert, observable from the photograph.

And, please don't get me wrong. When it comes to buffet, my ideal rule is to take as little portion as much for each food that I would devour upon. Take your time, eat gracefully, and no rush ! Thinking in mind, that this is a time for food tasting. Be careful on the portion on each dishes would allow me to safe more rooms for my stomach, in conducting the maximum gastronomic activity as possible, and at the same time, to watch over my weight. Plenty of people would have the pleasure to be represented as my witnesses.

The overall ambiance of the dining room was all right, despite the limit of food varieties compared to Sante, but I do think that the quality of the food here is pretty satisfying. The only thing that I found it disappointing was the roast beef - hard, not enough taste.. anyway,
Love the grill pepper fish the most. I ate double portion & it's simply Enchante !

Art Deco in Fashion

2011-01-26T00:15:00.012+11:00

Celebrated as one of the major artistic influence, The Art Deco movement (early 1920s – 1939) was reputable as the period of the unique combination of exoticism and modernity, the great time of experimentation in fashion.

The arrival of Serge Diaghileva and the Ballet Russes in Paris in 1909, was historically mark as the catalyst of the Art Deco period. Pivotal in the development of Art Deco, the Ballets Russes imbued fashion with its colourful and voluptuous aesthetic through the genius of Paul Poiret, who introduced the brilliant and bright colours and exotic garments, related to the Oriental splendour of Leon Bakst’s set and costume designs.

This important period also highlighted the Women’s movement and the thirst for the freedom that led to the radical shift in changing attitudes among women. The modern women of 1920s rebelled against the traditional Victorian values and feminine image. The emancipation of women liberalism also marked the rise of the Art Deco Fashion Icon, known as the Flappers.

The Flappers, ‘the young birds flapping its wings while learning to fly’, wore their hair and skirts short. They used heavy make up, smoke and drink in public, dancing Charleston and escaping from the oppressive tradition.

Masculine forms, streamlined, short hemlines, tubular silhouette, the cloche hat, ‘Charleston’ dress, geometric, angular shapes and designs, rolled down stockings were all the characteristics of the flapper fashion.

With this kind of freedom of movement as priority and concept, designers such as Jean Patou, Madeleine Vionnet and Gabrielle Chanel created the first real style for modern woman. The love of surface embellishment and abstract flourished, innovative seaming, gauzy fabrics, beads and feathers were used in working with silhouette. Menswear concepts and sportswear ideas were also popular.

The progressive time in economy during Art Deco period, the glamorous evening fashion, the era of Jazz Age life and the limelight of the avant-garde, all represented the life of modernity, luxury and leisure, simply, the three key themes of Art Deco Fashion.

Sources:

1. Lussier, Suzanne, Art Deco Fashion, V&A Publications, UK 2003.

2. Art Deco Fashion History, http://www.art-deco-style.com/art-deco-fashion.html

3. Historic Dress: Early Art Deco (1911- 1929), http://char.txa.cornell.edu/art/dress/historic/earlyart/earlyart.htm

4. Decolish,http://www.decolish.com/ArtDecoFashion.html Decolish.com

Written to be Published for :

Nouvelle Entree
(www.nouvelleentree.com)
24th January 2011

Random words

2011-01-24T00:35:00.004+11:00

Thinking on how to make myself busy - should i .. - hm.. maybe learning something new like taking short courses.. - depending on my budget though - sigh.. maybe make up lesson - or resume back vocal class - sigh the distance is the problem - too far - but seems have to , but for what ? - hm - better occupy myself - learning le francais ? - maintenant je apprendre le francais...- mais, think i can do it myself ? - sometimes it would be boring sitting in the class, learning in slow paces.. - think of something else... - how bout cake decorating class ? - sounds fun - hm.. but i hardly bake stuff nowadays - drawing ? painting ? - kind of losing the heart to take off all my brushes and paints from my cupboard - hm.. calligraphy ? - should improve my handwriting to make it more high-class ? - nah, you have got full time job - should stay at home and rest - well.. think bout driving first.. - or clean your house - stay at home, sip a tea and pamper yourself with all those aromatic perfume - hm.. - have to watch black swan or burlesque sometimes soon - spend more times with girls are the must - sigh - i will see how i go through this year .. i want something new and something rewarding - sick of certain things in life - not meant to complain - but really sick of it sometimes and - wanna have a new look and new appearance if i could - and i am not 'emo'ing here - hate that term on me, coz in the past someone always accused me of that -bitter am i ? - sigh.. in need of escapism - yet .. i know i have to be a good girl and obey and surrender....... - dear brain, be wise.

A Fine Wedding

2011-01-18T23:07:00.009+11:00

15th January 2011, Saturday.. a fine sunny day finally, after days of endless pouring rain, sweeping Melbourne as if it never ended, would always be remembered for Marleen & Virgondo's wedding.

What would be more blessed then witnessing two loving souls, triumphantly going through all obstacles for 8 years and finally pledging vows to be husband and wife ? Been knowing Marleen since the day she stepped into Dondon 3 years ago allowed my mind to be dived into memorable pensive. It was joyful, to look at her, so beautiful on this day. I have seen her many times on different number of days. However, she never looked as radiant as this before.. on such a special day, and I couldn't help it but, smile as I know, I love this girl very much !

However....silently, I did shed my tears watching them standing proudly in the pulpit. Though, genuinely happy and feel at ease for them, inside my heart I heard myself saying : might or might not this could happen to me ?.. a complex thoughts that I prefer not to discuss further at the moment.

The whole afternoon prior to the reception was spent preparing myself for the night. Yes, I was excited and wanted to have a perfect night. Weeks had been devoted for the presentation, which I sought for the emphasis of classy and elegance, and indeed, all went satisfyingly well.

Royce Hotel Ballroom portrayed excellent choice, I simply love the stairs leading tranquilly towards the ballroom. All the decorations that adorned the silky table, with carefully chosen ornaments reflect the delicacy of Marleen's choice. I know well, they both have fine taste.

My two good friends had delivered profound skills as Emcees. Especially, Jay, she was a natural. Meals were tastefully appropriate, and the entree of Duck Risotto was delightful to my taste. I also had my debut, singing in a wedding, which was included in 'one of my wishes since I was a little girl each time I attended a wedding' and was very grateful for such privilege.

Most of all, gathering with my ex-colleagues and good friends in this very occasion had the most value. Everyone I knew were merry and really enjoyed the whole reception. It would be a great journey for the bride and groom, and many blessings would certainly, be bestowed upon them as the rewards of their faithfulness for one another..

The Anguish Heart

2011-01-12T22:30:00.009+11:00

Hate to be entrapped , wanting to be set free..
Such an anguish and complete nonsense, as forced to keep hidden..
Ignorance has proved to be the foulest ally..

When time enlightens, it teaches how much have gone by,
it speaks of truth, the words that are not welcome.
Conscious sought to voice, knowing how much one doesn't deserve,
mortified, petrified, yet, have no choice but to held up each chances of dignity.

Yet, deep within, the pounding sought earnestly for mercy..
Holding still to the remaining hope.
Which without, the soul would might as well vanish.
The only remaining to hold on to...
Never ever perish, as faith remains.

Random words from the Current self

2011-01-09T19:20:00.012+11:00

Have you ever feel that you are always force to face with the battle of your inner-self and that it keeps on spinning ceaselessly until it almost drive you mad ? And I utterly despise myself sometimes for unable to be firm on myself even on the most fundamental basic principals which, absolutely no excuse to deny it. Such a humiliation.. that.. I myself find it despicable.

Living in between the two worlds or circles has been the definite dilemma, especially when you have to stand up and keep up all the moralities which you are supposed to live up with. Words would not be able to draw the pictures of it, no matter how exquisite the jargon that you have the capabilities to wear of. It is even darker and morbid, when something has to be covered and hidden in secrets that not a sole would knows. And it will follow you forever, wherever you try to run away.... To live in secret is worst than living in the light.. no denial.

However, you have no choice but to choose, as there is no grey area. It is either noir or blanc, light or dark, your conscience or sub-conscience, the ratio versus the world of abstract, reality versus the dream-world.. Your heart, or your mind... and sometimes, the degree of the confusion has dropped almost zero, that maybe the burden would be forever locked in the hidden closet or the small cabinet inside your heart...

A battle with extreme mind and soul would pattern up with thoughts running like an endless ship, sailing ferociously in a globe. Like a toxic cycle. You know that it is better to live without it, yet, your other part would rather die without it..

Or indeed, the quest of searching the ideal self has been sought as the meditation that would replace you in the temporary utopia, or whatever has sailing by were just mere illusion, as if you were trapped in the limbo state, that you really wish, when you have opened the lids of your eyes, all that happened, to summarize, is just a dream... or ...

am I just longing to have fun here..

For Always - Cece Winnans

2010-12-21T23:17:00.003+11:00

Remembering so well, the day that I met you
You took me in your arms and caused dreams to come true
From the fear of what would be
You came and rescued me

(chorus)
Lord I pray today for the rest of my life,
live inside my heart please stay for always
till that timeless place when we're face to face
And we embrace for always

I look ahead and see the hills that I must climb
Some high and some low
But if you lead I'll go
and at the end I'll see, you were always there with me

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/for_always_lyrics_cece_winans.html
All about Cece Winans: http://www.musictory.com/music/Cece+Winans

My First Tiffany

2010-12-13T22:22:00.005+11:00

Sometimes things are just full of surprises, which we have never had a slight of expectation..

December has always been my favorite month, not to mention the coming holiday, the festive season, shopping time and the three very important days : The Christmas Day, my Birthday and the coming New Year's Eve. And indeed, these days would not be completed without some surprises and cares from the love ones..

For this year 's Christmas I have received an early gift of bracelet of Tiffany & Co. Such a valuable gift which, of course, I never have expected at all and would be the subject of my treasure, further care and amusement that I would not be forgotten.

Wishing to express more gratitude and have myriad of questions of reasoning why and why...
Yet, it is wiser, I guess, to say Thank You so much with all my heart. I love it !

Painful Sight of the most Fundamental Moral Issue.

2010-11-24T00:32:00.008+11:00

It always hurts when we see how the younger generation group treat their seniors or older generation with disrespect. I know this is something that is unavoidable since the world is changing; everyone has their own free right, education teaches kids to raise questions, and media is full with too much immoral teachings...Yeah... moral is degrading, what has this world changing to be ?

In the past, older people are highly regarded. When they say 'Do it', you 'Do it.' When they say 'NO', you should obey. No question asked. They are older. They deserve more respect and there's no objection in this. Yet, in this so called post-modern world where everything is relative, I see kids screaming at their parents, younger people shouted back and argued with their older people with not a slight of fear. I see weird attitudes, selfish behavior, and 'I don't need you to Control me' that sort of body languages...or many more things that I don't want to mention here as they are Too Much !

It is very sad... And i think everyone should be aware of this issue.
And.. again,

It hurts, when I see how the young treats the elderly, especially when you see it with your own eyes.

I know both parties have faults. We are all selfish human are we ?But, there is so called things called ' Conscious', 'Emotion' , 'Feelings, ' Etiquette' and 'Love'. Can't we feel the hurt when others are hurt ? Can't we feel sad when others are sad ? I am not talking about empathy. I am talking about the supposedly accepted things and morality, which, nowadays, it is changing...

And if this generation never learn, how about the next generation ? and the next after ?

Sigh...

Nothing else could help, other than Faith, Love and Hope....

Song that touches me as I sing ..

2010-11-21T22:44:00.002+11:00

HadiratMu ~ Sari Simorangkir

Di Hadirat-Mu Tempat Yang Kurindukan
Napas Hidupku Dan Sumber Kekuatan
Di Sana Kau Nyatakan Isi Hati Dan Rindu-Mu
Sehingga Kumengerti Berharganya Hidupku

Hadirat-Mu Yang Membawaku
Terima Semua Janji-Mu
Mengubah Hidupku Menjadi Indah
Hadirat-Mu Yang Menguatkan
Aku Di Dalam Pengharapan
Yesus Untuk Selamanya Hiduplah Dalamku

current Financial status..

2010-11-20T18:45:00.004+11:00

Activity : Checking out on my Balance.

Sigh, I am running out of money soon.

It's been 9 months since the last time I had a stable income and had that blessing to spend and enjoy without any worries of how much the numbers would drop down. And these days, especially since I have moved into zone 2 area, meaning - paying more than I used to be. At the moment, for my own access to make may daily transaction.. I only have less than 300 left.

Must be the driving tests and the fees involved, or perhaps other things that unavoidable. Surely I have to go back to work extra next week to get back some extra cash, no matter what. At least, when I work what I am working now, I could survive for that week, and I could save around 40-50. To simplify, when I work for that week, I survive for that week. If I don't, I would be in trouble.

However, looking back at how I have survived all these months. I am pretty amazed at How Much my Lord is taking care of me. He provides and take care of my provision. So far so good, and so far, I have enough and grateful for the sufficiency...

I am longing to have what I really need now : a proper job and a proper income. I am not aiming for high income that makes me rich or goes up the social ladder. But, a steady one would do.

Really hope that next year I would have these 3 needs to be fulfilled : a job, a stable income and a driving license. Yup, I do.

Being Still

2010-11-15T23:06:00.004+11:00

Being infected with an unfortunate infection that ...disabled me to stand still for even an hour, was devastating at first.. but have taught me a lot.

Special thanks for friends who care for me so much during this period, especially those who gave me a ride and sent me home... thank you......

Being grateful to have the rest, and enjoy the family surrounding.. which comforts me...

and most importantly, I have come to appreciate for even the ability to walk. It is so simple yet, many of us human have taken it for granted.. It is a gift and we should be grateful that we still could eat, talk, walk and breath in Oxygen as usual day by day. Everything is by grace...

Thank you Lord, for taking care of me.

~ Learning to Give Thanks even in not-so-good time ~

Domestic Struggle

2010-11-09T19:15:00.001+11:00

Can you believe that.. sometimes I do have thoughts of running away from home ?

As far as I could remember, I did have that thoughts quite a number since I was a little girl…

Yet I know that it is impossible to do so.. for the sake of obedient, for the sake of being grateful, for the sake of dependency… and ..for the sake of knowing that it is not right.....

Many times I felt like an alien, a foreigner, someone weird or different.

Many times I felt distrust, intimidated, that tense atmosphere indescribable with words…

Is it because of character differences? Differences in point of view? Or Harsh differences, the insensitive versus sensitivity ? Or myself? Or realizing the inevitable truth that what I really want in secret would be opposed harshly? … Would be rejected… without mercy.. ? I do not know…only love that holds everything together.

Or am I writing this to make myself better ?

Writing Again

2010-11-08T14:46:00.005+11:00

Just realizing that more than a year has flies since the last time I used to write my thoughts and pour out myself in blog writing... and understandably...numerous and uncountable things did happened within 1 year.. simply said; I have laughed a lot, I cried, I moved, I learned, I fell, I did stupid things, I came back, I picked myself up again, and I have loved..

Here's a bit about 2009,

I could said that, from July 09 onwards, it was blissful.. never ever I had felt so much excitement in life. I was indescribably jubilant.. especially the fact of having something for me to keep looking forward. Something to brighten my days, something that have soften my heart and something worth to spend time on and sacrifice so much on. I would never forget December 09 when I had received something that I have considered precious, which will always be, as an irreplaceable memories . Also, I remember the time I had had my face infection. It drove me nuts, and cost me sums of big deal of money... but.. thank God, I recovered..

It was wonderful, yet also somber in certain way.. another words.. a lonely world. As there were of course unspoken things that had happened beyond control... and will remain mysteries.

Gradually 2010 arrived.. things went well at first.. and I had decided to quit my restaurant managerial job.. Hoping to be able to enter the industries that I have been yearning for ...
I took driving lessons too.. thinking that it wouldn't be too hard to tackle...yet I was wrong..

Sitting here and typing this right now at 2pm. Obviously explains that I haven't been really working on something... solid.. . I haven't settle with job-hunting.. and there were times when i had lost my motivation due to the frustration of being turned down here and there... Sometimes I felt disappointed with even myself, who didn't even really know what I really wanted in this life.....

Remembering the 2nd time I failed my driving test : well.. I cried..but coming to realization that tears wouldn't help improve any situation much... i took the 3rd one. When i failed that, I had lost all my emotions, let alone, expression..

Moving house : at start, it was difficult. Somehow I hated changes, I hated my routine to be altered... yet, I obeyed my parents and moved. The 1st day I stayed there, I thought that : I don't deserve all these..... It's too much..... In my heart, I thank God for the provision and my family......
Yes, I couldn't go home anytime I want anymore, transport still sucks, and I even have chosen to stay at my friends' place during weekends... and sometimes.. I felt helpless..
Helpless in the sense that.. I used to be independent. Now I have to be dependent on people around me... and I felt mortified sometimes to be a burden to here and there....Sometimes.. seeing and meeting people around me who are on their right tracks with jobs and things settle... made me feel intimidated..

But I am grateful in a certain way... cause without these, I will never improve.

Jess.. You have to stop living in a circle...

The last thing that I would never forget is love. Love is painful. But what doesn't kill you, it would made you stronger. I have learn lots about love this year.. I have understand what does it like to love above the norm, to love in a difficult situation... and I have had cried all my tears out near the river in the middle of the night alone.. and I have learn to continue to love.. even though realities and obstacles are hard...

Trust me, having no job made you lost your confident, failing driving test 3 times and kept on losing money made you stress, lots of things I cant even afford right now, pressure from parents, friends, difficulties of transport, access, feeling that I am a bad leader and unworthy even to stand and sing......, broken hearts are all severely depressing. I had thought that : 2010 seemed like a year of failures. I have had suicide thoughts before few months back.. I have had sunk into depression, and I have had even thrown things or display violent behaviors in secret.. I even had thought to just disappear from Melbourne and just forget everything. However, I am not giving up and never be.

What keeps me going through all this ? What made me survive ?

Faith, Hope, and Love.

When I fell down, He picked me up.
When I lost hope, He called upon me.
When I had tears, He sent friends to comfort me...
When I felt that I am unworthy, He called me precious.
When I was unable to lead, He spoke to my choir members to pray and encouraged me..
When I lost all the love, He restored me....

He is good and He is real.. He is my God..and Grace is too good, too expensive, and too wonderful to describe...

This year is the 1st year where I really understand Grace.. not as a knowledge, but something real.....
Although this is the year where I have experienced so much failures, This is also a year when I have come to deeper worship than before..

With hope, I am looking forward for 2011... trusting that things happened for reasons.. and even bad things, are under His control.

Thinking that there are those who suffered more than me, those who are less fortunate than me.. I should be grateful...

Thank God so much.. for what I have now, what I still have now, who I have now, the trust I have now from Him, brothers and sisters who love me ..and everything that is to come..

An Unforgettable Weird moment...

2009-05-29T23:25:00.006+10:00

I was carrying a big pot of curry .. larger than my upper body from shoulder to waist, and it's around 2/3 full of curry... then As i was walking.. all of a sudden, I almost fell down., being banged into the cashier table.. Because I got tipped from someone's big and bulky laptop bag.. And I could feel the whole pot being slanted about 45 Degree.. and I could hear my boss SHOUTED ; Aaaa!!!......

Imagine, what if I fell on the floor and the curry dropped all over the floor..My working place is very Small.. and If I fell that time.. I would knocked myself to the cashier table.. the whole curry pot would dropped and CURRY SAUCE would be EVERYWHERE>> including the cashier area.

Few months back.. my manager was carrying 2 pot of rice and.. he got tipped by the same stupid bag. The result: He banged himself into the cashier table.. and the two rice pot .. Dropped to the floor.. (luckily they were covered and since the rice was sticked firmly to the pot.. they were ok).

Compared to my case.. I was carrying LIQUID.. and it was HEAvy.. So.. By Logic. It should had Dropped or at least some of the curry would splashed.. ... and.. my boss will have my head chop. (means : being shouted .. I couldn't imagine..)

Surprisingly.. nothing happen.

It made me wondered.. where did I got the strength to hang on to the pot ? How come I didn't tipped ? I really fell myself being thrown to the cashier table carrying the heavy pot.. but I was saved...was it me? was it my imagination? was it a coincidence ? I was amazed.... or...... .. this thought just came to my mind at that time.....was it because... an angle saved me ?

Jika

2009-04-04T10:26:00.004+11:00

Jika kamu memancing ikan.....Setelah ikan itu terikat di mata kail, hendaklah kamu mengambil Ikanitu.....Janganlah sesekali kamu lepaskan ia semula ke dalam air begitu saja....Karena ia akan sakit oleh karena bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu dan mungkin ia akan menderita selagi ia masih hidup.Begitulah juga setelah kamu memberi banyak pengharapan kepada seseorang... .Setelah ia mulai menyayangimu hendaklah kamu menjaga hatinya.....Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja......Karena ia akan terluka oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin tidak dapat melupakan segalanya selagi dia mengingat... .Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh......cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu. ......Apabila sekali ia retak tentu sukar untuk kamu menambalnya semula......Akhirnya ia dibuang..... .Sedangkan jika kamu coba memperbaikinya mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan lagi.....Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang, terimalah seadanya.... .Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya Begitu istimewa.... .Anggaplah ia manusia biasa.Apabila sekali ia melakukan kesilapan bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya. Akhirnya kamu kecewa dan meninggalkannya.Sedangkan jika kamu memaafkannya boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan terus Hingga ke akhirnya.... .Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi yang pasti baik untuk dirimu.Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu berlengah, coba mencari makanan yang lain....Terlalu ingin mengejar kelezatan. Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. kamu akan menyesal.Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan yang membawa kebaikan kepada dirimu. Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu. Mengapa kamu berlengah,coba bandingkannya dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan. Kelak,kamu akan kehilangannya; apabila dia menjadi milik orang Lain kamu juga akan menyesal.
(By : Anonymous)

A Touching Gift

2009-03-20T00:05:00.008+11:00

Who would ever know who would ever expect that, you would get a sudden delivery out of the blue. Seems like no one would ever send me flower during this time. I don't have anyone that close and there isn't any occasion or special event around some more. When I received this news from my boss, I wondered ... At the moment I picked up the flower and opened the card to read , my tears just flowed..

Such a gentle message, such a simple lines. Yet, it is so deep. I never expect the giver to understand the pain so well what I am going through without me telling. Even though, I never even show it every time we met. However, since there were times when I really wanted to go far far away and disappear, knowing from the message that.. I still have people around who really want me to be happy, knowing that I still have people around who still love me.. it really comfort me. I will always remember the giver's care and never forget.

My Day-Off

2009-03-14T01:20:00.022+11:00

I can't remember when was the last time I had a weekday off. Well, today I had one and it was good. I could wake up at 9 instead of the usual 7.. then head of to the city for medical check up. Unfortunately, I had fasted too long and the nurse refused to take my blood. Sigh, I was very hungry at that time, but nothing I could do. So, I have to come again next Wednesday morning. Followed by this, I went for reading accompanied by my fav. mocha at Starbuck and waited for my friend. We went for lunch, then window shopping at many places along Collins, Myer & David Jones.

At Tiffany & Co., I saw one very nice necklace, but I will not buy it. It's against my principle to buy myself a necklace. Haha. I like necklace but the thing is, I don't need necklace now. What I really need now is a keychain. The last one that I had was a gift from a friend, but it's time to change it. I have been looking around for a very long time, but I never find it. Thus I give up looking for a suitable one. Hope that one day I will have it. Perhaps, if I had one close friend who were willing to buy one for me, it would be great. Jk.

The day continued on when my close friend met up with me (Such an irony that the night before I just missed hanging out with him). We went for nice French coffee & cake, walked around city and chit-chat, then went to inspect some nice cars. Afterward, we went home, gathered with other friends then attended staff's farewell dinner at night. One thing I could say is: thanks a lot for the genuine company. Really grateful for the pleasant quality time, meant a lot for me, and that's what I need so much for now..

130309

2009-03-13T00:46:00.008+11:00

' Dare I miss You ? ' - a friend of mine really have no idea how much this sentence comforted me. Yes we are like 500 miles apart, but guess what, a true genuine email from a far-distance close friend really felt good. Thanks to you, pal, for giving me this inspiration to write blog again since you said 'Whenever I had short breaks, I'd go and check out ur blog, but u havent added anything recently.' I wonder how come there is still human who check on my blog so faithfully.

The reason why I haven't write for a more than a month is.. yeah.. many reasons. Lack of motivation, no mood, no idea on what I should write or the extreme : too many inside myself that I had no inkling at all of what I should share here. Trust me, I had like paragraphs and paragraphs of words flowing unceasingly on my mind sometimes when I couldn't sleep at night.. but I decided not to write straight away that time due to the content within ; not very nice stuff to write. Meaning : all mean and harsh. Better write it now, than that time. Wise move.

I am fine. I am good. Many people ask how I am recently. Might as well write it here. Most of the time I am happy spending time alone in the city after work and enjoy solitary time in my bedroom when the whole house turns still, when everyone is sleeping. That's the best time to enjoy solitude. Work is fine too, stable, content, better than a year before, building up myself to be 'more patient' presumably... whatever... but at least become things that I still look forward to do day after day. Still, I avoid groups.. Unless I have a very comfy feeling about it, I would go.. other than that.. nah.. not a time for big happy gathering. Except for social obligation...

Is not that I am trying to be anti-social or whatever.. Just.. don't want to affect ppl around me. Believe it or not. And....When thing clicks, it just happens. If not, just forget about it and say good-bye. Never invest too much, never too deep; the new motto.

Life feels like 'living on the stage.' You go to work, you act decently, follow the rules and obligations, get along with people for the sake of organisation's diplomacy. You go home, you play your part as you should be, you be in whatever social situation, then you adjust the role and play along too.

Sometimes, nostalgia hits me like never before too.. Miss my hometown.. miss the friends and the groups I used to feel belong to .. Recently chat with my relative, and he said he might be coming here.. 'please do so, bro.' Miss my good friends who have gone back for good... I even miss my friend nearby, like my 'bro'.. miss talking to him sometimes. Just that it's not that necessary. Have to consider how busy he is with his uni, assignment, work, friends, gf, etc.... What the.. why am I so emo.. Think too much ? Yeah, I am a true genuine melancholic. Sounds like I am so deprieved of something here? haha.. Yeah. It is so damn painful to lost a friend. That's why it made me think back of my old lost close pals..Why not being defensive? Nah, what's the use ? Whatever words spoken will never change the situation. Action speaks louder than words.

People say, you won't notice or miss how important something is until it's gone, until you have lost it. Yeah.. it's very true. No objection. But is a good thing to have, so we can move on and 'grow'. My good friend said, 'whoever can not move on is a loser.' No objection. No matter how life is going to be, I never ever let myself be crushed down by whatever situation. Play cool man. That's the word. Is not the first time anyway, just another level to go through.

In the past, adapting to changes was easier. Plus my ego and head-strong within. When I cut off myself from something, I will never go back. That's it. End of story. But sometimes, it is really hard. Especially when you have things to say, but unable to say it out. And it bottles up inside slowly slowly... then it is just a matter of times when it .. haha. Hope it doesn't happen. To be honest, yeah. I thought about many things especially a month ago. Like..'thousand of why' in my head, leading towards.. blaming myself.. Things like 'everything 's my fault' or things like ' what if i disappear from this world? One day I will die anyway, Life doesn't matter right?' Haha.. Dead serious. No joke here.

It's like having this battle inside you. And if you were weak, adios, pal. I sort of understand why people get depressed and jump off the building. But nah.. that period had been conquered. No worries. At least I have things to inspire me in life. Switching my focus towards other things. Easy easy. A girl came to me and commented very positive remarks towards me. I was like, 'i did not deserve it.' There is this dark ugly side of me still. But Thanks anyway. Even some admire how strong I am ? Am i that strong ? not really, it's all by Grace, to be honest.

No dramas.. though seems like everything is so dramatic. No drama for me means being genuine, no pretending, no made-up stuff.. And.. this is just a blog. It Is where you just type whatever is on your mind. Not asking for sympathy, advice, or pity here. So my dear fellow readers, no need to take it seriously. Just a one time mood to write and here I am, writing this long passages with just a 'Flow' with no clear main topics, which would be failed by the lecturer. Hahahha. If you don't understand what I am writing, let it be. Because, I myself don't really know what I am writing about. Will play with words again when I have the inspiration kicking in. Cheers !

Revolutionary Road

2009-02-07T12:41:00.019+11:00

Adapted from the revealing novel by Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road is an Academy Award-nominated and Golden Globe Award-winning 2008 British-American drama film directed by Sam Mendes and starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.

Set in 1955, the film incisively portrays the disintegration of a relationship amongst the hopes and aspirations of Frank and April Wheeler, self-assured Connecticut suburbanites who see themselves as very different from their neighbours in the Revolutionary Hill Estates. Despite the depiction of the norm life of the suburban area which speaks strongly about the monotony of everyday existence, the film is lavishly dark. It is about the desperate struggles to find happiness in life which leads to entrapment and tragedy.

From the start, I think the film has successfully proclaimed that, it is not an easy movie to watch. It isn’t the kind of movie that everyone will get or even want to get it. A respectable movie comment indicated that ‘this movie will tear out the heart of the people that have been in a relationship that has gone sour and were powerless to stop it,’ which I agree.

Also, the scene that carefully shown; all the men wearing almost in uniform with the hat and the fashion of that time is unforgettable, as it speaks strongly of the lifeless, the boredom and the hopelessness of no-alternative sort of life. Though it was seem as a family movie at first, with the fact that the protagonists have two children, it is a kind of irony that the children are almost seen as disappear in the scene. Unless you are prepared for a serious movie, this isn’t the type of film where you will be laughing or crying. Overall the movie is undeniably good, despite all the tension and perhaps, hints of depression in it.

Sources:
• http://www.revolutionaryroadmovie.com/
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolutionary_Road_(film)
• http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0959337/

Feeling 'mad'

2009-01-31T00:11:00.012+11:00

Sometimes you know that feeling unhappy is not a choice, yet you know that it is not an option either. I was so mad.. so so so mad.. At first it was fine, I meant being tolerant and tried to compromise the standard that I was required to obey in order to maintain the so-called 'diplomatic' level. Then, for the whole day, everything was not good. It was 40 degree today.. which made things worse. When I kept quiet, I got scolded. When I said something, it was not acceptable. And this kept on going...

During peak hours, around 12.40 I was excused for lunch. I didn't bother to take food. Instead I walked all the way to QV, sat down and tried to calm down. I remember that time, I felt bad...seriously bad.. I started to feel 'hate'.. I didn't know what to do.. I couldn't turn up to anyone... Is not I couldn't..I didn't know who I could turn up to anymore..... it's the first time I felt so mad in my whole life. ' I was so mad with my manager, I was so mad with the place where I work, I was so mad with myself, I was so mad with my life, and damn, I was so mad with everything.'

I know it was very childish of me to be like this.. so I went back and face the situation. Yes I had to be patient with all the 'you not doing good job' kind of comments.. and the 'grumpy face' of my person-in-charge. Let alone being tossed here and there by the two of them, as if i were a ball. Seriously I didn't like to be treated like this. This whole situation made me felt really lonely. Suddenly I felt like the only person left standing in the battlefield. And one thing that I kept telling myself was 'don't cry'. Throughout, I bit my lips and passed the whole situation.

As I am writing this, I begin to reflect; For sure, I don't hate them at all. I respect them, I like them and I really want to get along with them. Maybe the problem is not with them, maybe the problem is just with me.. Perhaps, I brought the whole problems in life by myself, like.. I really am not good enough, I really am too hard to please, I really am weird. Or, is it the consequences of all the stupidity that I have done? No idea.. Anyway, one day I will die anyway. Why bother so much? I have to face things by myself. No one cares anyway. What on earth am I writing? Yes, I am mad.. but I am mad at myself. Sigh.. I better stop writing, it will get worst.. what am I becoming? am I lost..

searching..

2009-01-24T11:18:00.012+11:00

I used to be someone with big dreams
someone who knows what she wants
someone with the enthusiasm to do it all
pursuing always, no matter what..

seems like the dreams are all so far away
seems like many doors are so hard to reach
however it is not the end,
as there is another world within the world we know.

our lives are defined by opportunities
even the ones we miss
yet there is always a new pleasing journey
as long as there’s a willing heart to find
there is a sure beauty within..

therefore, a new road I shall find
as long as I live, I will always learn
to treasure, to cherish, and to appreciate
and truly enjoy all those that I have for now.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-01-19T00:07:00.015+11:00

'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' (drama film) 2008

The 2nd movie which I watched by myself and left without any regret. Probably one of the best movies that I have ever watched. It is indeed, special.

From the start, the well-usage of flashback captured my attention. I love the level of art direction, particularly scenes in the 1920s, 30s, and 40s, that contains high level of details. Also, the presentation of historic scenes made me felt as if I were watching old movies. Moreover, I personally love the hints of art culture; Chopin’s Polonaise piano scene and the glamour and life of ballet dancers. Amongst those, the scenes of the sunrise and the silhouette dance left very strong impression.

The movie reminds me of how the facts of life are unavoidable, however, it values the time that each human temporarily has in this temporary world. At the same time, it also proclaim about how love transcends over time and conditions. It never fails. To sum up, it is a movie that allows me to smile, a movie that allows me to cry. It will be a movie that I will never forget.

The Great Debaters

2009-01-03T14:56:00.010+11:00

"An unjust law is no law at all" ~ Augustine of Hippo (354-430).

Based on an article written about the Wiley College debate team by Tony Scherman for the 1997 Spring issue of American Legacy, “The Great Debaters” is the second film directed by Denzel Washington and produced by Oprah Winfrey’s company, Harpo Productions.

The film, based on the true story, chronicles the effort of the notable poet, social activist and educator Melvin B. Tolson (Washington), a volatile debate coach who uses his eloquence to shape a group of students from a modest black college in East Texas into an elite debate team with an equal footing with whites in the American South. Eventually, the Wiley team succeeds to the point of receiving the invitation to debate Harvard University’s championship team, where the issue of: Nonviolent civil disobedience versus the rule of law was vividly debated.

The movie also explores the social milieu of Texas during the Great Depression including not only the day-to-day insults and slights African American endured, but also a lynching. Segregation, prejudice, and racial discrimination are the major themes in the film, as well as the heights of the fight for the freedom rights. According to the New York Times movie review, “Its steadfast humanity, its literacy, its passionate belief in education, its faith that history teaches invaluable lessons and it’s strong, emotionally grounded performances: There are enough things to admire about The Great Debaters.” (Leading the Charge to Inspire the Underdogs, Stephen Holden, NY Times, December 25, 2007)

Engaging from the start, with many clever words usage and strong historical themes portrayed in the movie, it is movie not meant to entertain, but a movie where it draws the viewers to comprehend the reality and to inspire those who ‘do what they have to do in order to do what they want to do.’

Sources:
http://movies.nytimes.com/2007/12/25/movies/25deba.html
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427309/quotes
http://www.matchflick.com/flicks/17938
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Debaters

The Continuation

2009-01-01T23:47:00.005+11:00

For me, 2008 will never be forgotten. It was a very unreplacable year with so many happenings as well as many memorable memories worth to remember. It started like an innocent journey at the beginning, heading towards the mid-year. Since then, realisation hit. Then, the discovery of one-self happened, effecting almost all of my aspects of life. In both good and bad times, lessons were worth to heed. Perspective and way of thinking shifted a lot, pressumably a sign of growing up. Towards the end, despite the hard start I had for December, it ended pleasantly. It was just a very personal year. And the journey shall continue in 2009. Hopefully it will turn out to be a better year, both for myself and people around me.

Wonderful Christmas

2008-12-26T12:39:00.010+11:00

A time to remember the Saviour's birth.
A time for celebration, a time for thanksgiving.
A time of giving, a time of blessing and sharing.
A time for gathering, together with all the loves one.
Let's we cherish whatever we have and be grateful for all.
God bless ~ Merry Christmas 2008~

N.B.One of the best versions of 'O Holy Night'. Awesome performance, especially in the climax.

Christmas Dinner

2008-12-10T22:20:00.006+11:00

Date: 9th December 2008, Tuesday.
Event: Don don Christmas Dinner.
Venue: The Italian

Starting of December

2008-12-06T09:43:00.009+11:00

Feeling very pleased as I woke up on Saturday morning. At last I have private time of my own. The very first week of December, I could say, a new beginning for another level of my working life; working as a full-timer. I still work at the current restaurant that I am working, it is just a harder level to go through.

I was being transferred to the main branch at the city and it was expected that I learnt to adapt and cooperate with the system there. My first day on the 1st December, Monday, was the most difficult. Being scolded, pushed away and alienated caused me to feel pressurised. Yup, it made me feel discouraged and i almost cried during busy peak hours. At night I couldn't sleep and felt very sad..thinking of how I had to overcome this. I missed Don3 so much at the moment. Yet i kept telling myself, I had to be strong and everything will be all right.

However, thank God that I didn't feel alone. After I finished work that day, Marleen brought me to eat ice-cream and then Robert called me and asked how was it. Therefore, I just couldn't help it but cried for a while.. it was a relief, though made me looked so weak. Later on that day, I met Mindy and Alan, and it gave me another encouragement, as they are my seniors whom have gone through successfully what I just started. On the way home, I saw the moon and two planets; Venus and Jupiter. It was beautiful. I felt that the Creator of this view was telling me to remember, 'I am always there for you.'

Indeed, few days later I started to get used to the work. Even, I felt grateful to be able to work well with the manager there. It was not easy to work with him, but, I could see his good side, and quite pleased to feel his acceptance towards me as working partners.Also, I received feedback from him and I was very thankful for the compliment. Things that I felt intimidated turned out to be challenges that I looked forward for the moment.

On the last day after I successfully gone throughout the whole week I went to Don3 just to visit. Surprisingly, my visit was expected for my colleagues there. Felt so grateful to have the bond with them. At night we went to German Dining and had a merry time together. Aware that, things in this world is temporal, opportunity and chance of being together are precious. December will be a good month, perhaps the best of the year.

1st cake

2008-11-28T23:28:00.005+11:00

Thank you so much; winishe, andy, mikha, jackson & wen.
Appreciate you guys for such efforts & thoughts, knowing that you guys are flying home in December. Good surprise. Gbu =p

November Rain

2008-11-20T22:50:00.011+11:00

Recently it has been raining and windy. It is no longer sunny as much compared to the previous week and thank God for that. Without knowing why, it is very pleasing to fit myself in this kind of weather. It suits my mood at the moment and undenyingly ideal for many solitary moments. I just love the rain and enjoy it so much. Also, going to bed for a good night sleep has become something to look forward to. It is simply nice to sleep, accompanied by the sounds of soft dripping rain. Though many times weird dreams occurred these days. Maybe that's what you would get from the unconscious mind; the incomprehensible, which keep on whispering at night when you couldn't comprehend the reality in the awaken state, just like the mysteries within the rainy seasons. But whatever it is, everything is worthwhile. Knowing that I am not alone, I could still walk on with a smile on a face. Surely the light will always shine.

Isenk..

2008-11-17T22:45:00.004+11:00

Lagi feeling blue banget.. jadinya isenk ambil dari bulletin Fs.

1. Brapa umur lo?
- 23.. sisa sebulan terakhir.
2. Minum air ga???
-ga minum mati lar
3. Kalo weekend sukanya ngapain aja?
- relax, pergi ama teman2, enjoy deh.
4. Suka duit?
- suka tapi ga cinta.
5. kalo dikasih duit mau ga?
- Terima kasih.
6. Suka binatang apa?
- Kucing, anjing, ikan, rubah, serigala, burung hantu.
7. Suka ngapain aja kalo lagi banyak duit?
- saving, beli barang kasi teman.
8. Temen2 manggil loe apa?
- Jes? Jessi? jessica? apa lagi?
9. Kalo lagi gak punya uang biasanya ngapain?
- hm.. menghemat
10. Kalo masak, sukanya masak makanan apa?
- Depends on my mood ya. French, Japanese, own creation.
11. Suka buah apa?
- plum, honeydew, apel, etc
12. Kalo nonton, sukanya film yang gimana?
- yang ada high standardnya. biasa suka drama sih.
13. Suka olahraga apa?
- badminton.
14. Suka jutek ga kmu?
- tanya deh ama staff ku. Banyak yg bilang gw scary.. sad sia.
15. Suka ngapain aja kalo lagi sedih?
- Diam. Cari hiburan. kalo ga tahan biasanya nangis.
16. kalo sarapan suka makan apa??
- omelette & Mc D
17. Kalo ulang tahun sukanya di kasih kado apa?
- wah. depend from who ya. heuheue. yang lasting impressionnya.
18. Acara TV yang terakhir loe liat?
- ga suka nonton tv
19. Lagu terakhir yang loe denger?
- Mahler, the Song of the Earth. (German Art Song)
20. Omongan terakhir ke orang tua loe?
- iya..
22. Hal terakhir yang loe katakan ke 1 teman loe?
- bye bye. c u.
23. Terakhir kali baca?
- kemarin
24. Orang terakhir yang tau rahasia loe?
- of course my closest girl friend.
25. Orang terakhir yang loe telp?
- hm..Ga penting.
26. Orang terakhir yang ngasih loe testi?
- my dear friend livia.
27. Kamu nyadar ga kalo ada orang yang suka ama kamu?
- mana gw tau. Ga ada yg suka kali.
28. Kamu pernah nangis gara-gara film?
- sering
29. Kamu termasuk orang yang males?
- hm.. i dont think so.
30. Menurut kamu gmn kalo dalam kesendirian?
- no prob. gw sudah biasa endure loneliness.
31. Kartun yang terakhir ditonton?
- lady and the Tramp
32. Apa yang ada dipikiran kamu sekarang?
- hm.. seandainya...
33. Buku apa yg lagi lo baca akhir2 ini?
- novel, AncientFuture by Traci Hardings.
34. Siapa yang paling sering telp lo akhir2 ini?
- Ha ha ha . No one.
35. Bagusan mana Nokia ato Sony Ericsson?
- biasa pake Sony Ericsson.
36. Pernah pacaran jarak jauh?
- perna. 10 thn lalu. dan 1 bulan doank.
37. Apa yg bangunin lo pagi ini?
-alarm...
38. Apa yg pengen lo sampein ma seseorang?
- hm. Ada. private. mau tau aja.

Another Trust to Keep

2008-11-12T23:15:00.007+11:00

A girl friend of mine, whom I meet almost on daily basis shared to me about her personal problems yesterday for the first time. I have known her for 5 months, been learning to get to know her, get to understand her, and learn a lot how to cooperate with her, but it was like the first time that she opened up to me. Often in this case, you will have a new perspective towards that person. Someone told me once that it was a priviledge.

It is not easy to carry secrets. It is always not easy to be faithful. I did failed before and I couldn't get rid of that memories, even thought it had been a decade. Since then, whenever a trust is given, it would be another try. It also meant as another chance to play a role of a good steward. Besides, everytime you knew more about a person's personal stuff, and it doesn't matter you are important or not to the person, then... you will know how much this person values.

Hello Little Snail !

2008-11-03T22:23:00.006+11:00

I found this little snail accidentally, sticking on the Milo. Then I made a little house. Could the little snail survive for another day? We 'll know tomorow. hehehe.

Le Renard et les Poulets D'inde

2008-11-03T22:16:00.004+11:00

The last time I did painting seriously was in 2003. Glad that I still can do it ^^

Cats

2008-11-03T22:10:00.002+11:00

Went to Marleen's house and played with the cats. I really love cats... Wish i could have one =(

Go Light Your World

2008-10-25T23:36:00.001+11:00

I am working with this song for next month's choir project ^^

Chopin's Ballade No. 3 in A-flat major, Op. 47

2008-10-25T21:54:00.007+11:00

It is not that easy to motivate myself to practise piano nowadays. My life as a music student seems like a long-lost-past. Yet, there 's one day when this particular Ballade came to my mind.. and it has been ages since I play a serious repertoire. Personally I found this ballade easy to listen to, though considered medium-hard in level of difficulty. Most of the time I prefer to play in minor keys, however this particular ballade is attractive on its own matters. Overall it starts of very much of classical music, then the second part sounds amiable and delicate, with certain inspiring parts, which sounds very lovely to me. The transition section before the ending contains certain drama and melancholy and it ends with a grand triumph.

In the Closet

2008-10-22T23:37:00.003+11:00

Enclosed within the wall, there she was.
Juxtaposition between the obvious truth, against
the charming purplish-marron, the hidden mysteries.
"Mirror mirror on the wall", reflection caught in a flick.
Expression shown.. Was it happiness or sadness ?
Remember that the eyes would tell the truth, it never lied.
Door on the side, a sign of another path. It was a matter of choice.
How should the key be used? Only wisdom would knew.

Patience..

2008-10-19T00:30:00.019+11:00

a girl knocked on me accidentally, I just kept quiet..
at work, I hardly ever scold people anymore..i am learning still..
a person mistreated me few weeks ago, and I could still smile..
when no one understand, when no one stand beside me, it is okay...

Everyone has problems to deal with. Everyone makes mistakes. Situations always happened beyond our control and sometimes, you just don't know how to explain it. Above all, patience is the key. Or else, we can't be a channel of blessing. Realising that tempatations become harder as I grow in faith, there is not a single moment which allow me to give up. Things happen for a reason and it is not my strength that keeps me going. For I trust and always hope. Love is patience. (1 Cor 13:4)

Harapan Dalam Kehidupan

2008-10-16T23:35:00.019+11:00

Bangun sebelum jam 8, tidur sesudah jam 12an..Monday to Sunday sang waktu terus berjalan tanpa menunggu. Sekarang sudah Oktober, bentar lagi thn 2009. Haih.. Kerja yah, ok ok saja. Masih ada passion, masih senang, masih suka dengan responsibilities yang ada. Managerku bae, teman2 kerja da kaya saudara sendiri, terus org2 baru juga lucu-lucu, walau kadang bikin naik darah. Sekarang sih, kalo ada masalah di tempat kerja, da bisa lebih calm..da lebih sabar.. da ga dikontrol emosi seperti dulu. Istilahnya lebih banyak berpikir bagaimana menyelesaikan masalah daripada stres tidak menentu. Selain kerja? ngapain? yah.. Kadang ada meeting, kadang ada activity yang mesti dilakuin..Kadang bosen, ga tau mau ngapain.. tapi juga bisa enjoy sendiri sih.. yah.. gitu2 lar minggu demi minggu berlalu..

Begitulah kehidupanku sekarang. Kelihatannya membosenkan dan gitu2 aja. Tapi setiap hari ada pelajaran baru dan masalah yang harus dihadapi. Akhir2 ini sih lumayan stabil. Da ga terlalu bete gitu lagi, ato pusing. Well, tapi ada aja hal hal yang bikin membingungkan.. kadang tuh sampe bikin ga tau mau gimana gitu. Yah.. tabah2 aja, mau gimana lagi? Jalanin aja deh..

Akhir 2 ini banyak juga teman2 yang lagi bingung, banyak masalah, stress.. emang itu part of life. Bedanya gimana kamu mesti hadapin aja. Semakin rumit masalah yang dihadapin, semakin bertumbuh dewasa juga seorang individu, asalkan dianya berani mengambil langkah yang benar. Ada yang takut dan bertanya, bisa ga ya saya berubah? Kadang org bilang, ga mungkin deh.. impossible.. Eh.. siapa tau? Mujizat itu masih nyata lor... Di hidup gw, tahun ini bagiku tuh tahun yang cukup berat. Senangnya banyak banget, pusinknya lebih luar biasa banyaknya..Untungnya ada pegangan dalam hidup. Dan itulah yang bikin saya terus maju, pantang mundur. Kalo ga mah, gw da depresi kali.. da stress..terus bikin org sekitar pusink.. ngapain begini ? Yah.. sedih boleh, nangis boleh.. tapi jangan terus2an gitu donk.. Lu disakiti, gw juga disakiti. Cuman buat apa kita dendam? Kalo disakiti, yah sudah maafin.. ga ada gunanya marah2 terus dan membenci.. bikin kacau dunia aja.. Namanya juga setiap org perna bikin salah. Yah, kalo merasa bersalah, belajar berubah, kalo pengen hidup lebih baik, coba berubah dan cari jalan yang lain. Kalo ga dicoba, gimana tau? Jalan itu banyak, tapi apakah jalan yang dipilih itu bener? Mangnya ini hidup yang lu benar2 mau?

Bagiku, di dunia ini harapan dan pegangan itu ga bisa didapatkan dimana-mana, selain di dalam kasih Bapa. Soalnya yang tau jalan hidup kita cuman Dia seorang. Yang bisa terima kita, sekotor apapun kita, sebanyak apapun dosa kita, cuman Bapa saja yang sanggup.. masalahnya kita berani ngaku ga ? berserahlah.....toh yang tau semua jawaban cuman Bapa seorang. Di sisi lain, ada orang bilang, 'Daripada sakit, mending tinggalin masalah aja, mending cari kesenangan'.. hal ini banyak diterapkan orang dalam pelarian, karena ga tau mau kemana, ga tau mau gimana, ga puas gitu lor.. tapi yah, mendingan tau kebenaran, daripada hidup dalam dusta. Masalahnya orang mau percaya ga? Gw sendiri juga pernah hadapin jalan buntu, ga tau gimana dan bener2 lemah. Untungnya ngerti kalo dengan kekuatanku sendiri, ga bakal bisa, karena manusia itu dasarnya lemah. Tapi dengan iman, kan percaya kalo "Segala sesuatu di dalam Tuhan itu tidak ada yang mustahil." Dengan begitu, hidup jadi penuh pengharapan. Yang penting, mau buka hati. KArena didalam hati, terpancar kehidupan. Kalo hatinya ga mau? mana bisa maju-maju.. bakal terus2 aja di roda kaya tikus hamster. Mikir deh, hidup ini cuman sekali saja. Masa ga mau do your best? Kalo berani percaya, doa itu besar kuasanya dan iman sanggup mengubah segala hal. Kesimpulannya, kebenaran itu ada, kasih itu nyata, pengampunan itu ada dan hidup kekal itu bukan fantasi, asalkan seseorang berani menghadapi jati diri sendiri, mau bertobat, tidak putus asa, menerima kebenaran dan meraihnya.

The Forgotten Dream and my P.O.V.(point of view) towards Academic Life

2008-10-13T21:57:00.011+11:00

Half-way during conversation with my manager during busy peak hours, I remembered my forgotten ambition which used to be my dream 10 years ago. At that moment, I studied my secondary school in Singapore. Whenever someone asked me what degree I wanted to pursue in mind.. I would say: Law. Yeah right.. No bluff here, it was true. I wanted to study law ever since I understand there is a profession called: Lawyer. And I really have only one that particular dream in mind during my 3 years of scholing in Singapore. Also, I always think that lawyers are cool. They represent the people, they believe in justice, they are smart, sophisticated, well-dressed, eloquent, rich, reputable, simply said, they got 'style'. Everytime I watched lawyers on tv or movie, I always get excited. Have you read John Grisham? Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mocking Bird? " These books are. When I was 14 I went to library and started reading about "Introduction to Law Education".. hard one to read... In the end.. it was just an unreachable dream.

Reasons & Factors involved: Firstly, I told myself I would give up on pursuing law in the future if I didn't get an A for my English during my O Level in 2002. Sadly, .I only got a B. Then? why not tried it again during VCE year? The answer is, I am not 'smart' enough. You need at least 98 score to enter the law faculty and mine was no where near at all. Moreover, yes.. I love to read, I used to be a hardcore 'bookworm'. I love books, I like to write (as you can obviously see...) but it is just not good enough.

Secondly, when it comes to..Personality, surely, I would be the first one to get kick out of the bar.. Yes, I have a very strong choleric temperament, independent, stubborn and seriousness within. However, I am not good a good speaker. I scared of stage, I don't really talk to stranger, K.O. during debates, and never give speech in my entire life. I can talk, but in small group, not a big one, and not pursuasive at all. I can only..give orders and motivate people in my kitchen....How would it be possible for me to win the heart of 12 juries in the courtroom? Forget about it.

As well, my emotions becomes a weakness itself. Robert said, i would surely cry in the courtroom and would be very subjective when comes to relations. Though, he said, if i were entitled Bachelor of Law now, it would be very interesting.... said that my employer would have great advantage for his business. And some colleagues would consult me on how to get his assests.. Ckck..Well, back to the topic. At work, lots of my staff think I am tough woman, some said I were scary,... They just don't know that I am a cry baby in fact... a serious NO NO thing for a lawyer.

At least I have a B.A. (Bachelor of Arts) now. And it well-suited me. Apart from rigid, high demands, performance-based (which I don't really enjoy performing) life as a Music student, Arts School allow me to play around with whatever I like. I love learning languages; I major and minor in Japanese and Chinese, I enjoy learning facts and playing with words.. Arts subjects are all about reading, writing essays and research. Although I can't argue verbally, at least I could write during assignments. And the best moments as Arts Student : Taking down notes during lectures, especially when the lecturer talked a lot, and during history and Art EXAMS = the happiest hours of my life as a student!

The point is, my emo. side is pretty strong. And.. you hardly find this kind of law student.. Well, maybe, if I had very high IQ, objective and Strong and Stable emotions, I might be studying law during my academic years already. And most probably, I won't be who I am today if I pursued that path of life. As for the present, I am happy with who I am, satisfied with my current jobs, especially in the hospitality field, grateful for family and friends that I have. Yes, life has ups and downs and things out of control, but it is the learning process and I have 'FAith' that makes me keep on going with everything. I was proud to say I used to dream of becoming a lawyer, yet not ashamed of the paths that I have chosen today. When it comes to the time of wanting to play around with vocabs and writing a lot... Be thankful to have thing called 'BLOG' today where I could just write nonsense as much as I want without the fear of being penalised or getting a 'FAIL' ^_^

Thank You Winishe

2008-10-13T21:49:00.004+11:00

5th Oct - Winishe jie will be going back this December so she bought my 24th Bday Pressie in advance. So sweet. I love the French words : Lundi, Mardi, Mercredi, Jeudi, Vendredi, Samedi, Dimance ( trans: Mon-Sun ). Merci ^^

A Lesson to Remember

2008-10-08T21:45:00.008+11:00

This afternoon, I went to my usual workplace to make sure everything is okay, and .. I found out things in a mess, out of control. As a helper, I understood my stand, and didn't voice out any compliments. Well, you just have to cooperate with one another, no matter how many disagreements you have with one another. But, in the end, I was the one who were asked to leave...

It was the first time someone chased me away for helping, and it happened in my own territory..
No doubt, I felt sad, and I cried...However, whatever happened adds experience that is worth gaining.

2 hours later, to my utter surprise, my colleague gave me a call to meet up. Thus, I went and we had a talk. We listened to each other's point of view about what had taken place...And the outcome is..., I learnt to comprehend what was actually going on from another's point of view and the good thing is, both of us could face each other and courageously forgave one another. Today has become a very valuable lesson, worth remembering.

My EQ

2008-10-06T22:18:00.002+11:00

Your EQ score is 147.
You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.You are warm and open. Even when life gets you down, you're unafraid of the world and its challenges.You are comfortable with who you are. And you accept your weaknesses - as well as the weaknesses of others.While you are quite stable, you don't respond perfectly to every bad situation that comes up. But you have enough emotional intelligence to know when you need a course correction.

Expression
This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Emotional IQ test. But your Emotional IQ score is much more than just a number: it's an indicator of success. Research has shown that people with high emotional intelligence scores — not necessarily those with the highest IQ scores — tend to be the most valued and productive employees and have the longest and happiest romantic relationships.So, where are you most emotionally smart? Your test results show that your strongest suit is expression — how much you allow yourself to feel and to express your own emotions.

My IQ

2008-10-06T21:55:00.001+11:00

Word Warrior
Your IQ Score is: 117 (High Average)
You are equipped with a verbal arsenal that enables you to understand complex issues and communicate on a particularly high level. These talents make you a Word Warrior. Whether or not you recognize it, your vocabulary is your strongest suit—use it whenever you can. Since your command of words is so great, you are also a terrific communicator — able to articulate big ideas to just about anyone. Your wordsmithing prowess will also help in artistic and creative pursuits. The power of words translates to fresh ideas off paper too. Since you have so many words at your disposal, you are in a unique position to describe things in an original way, as well as see the future in your mind's eye. In short, your strengths allow you to be a visionary — able to extrapolate and come up with a multitude of fresh ideas. And you are in good company — bask in the brilliance of Word Warriors who have walked before you. William Shakespeare let loose the power of his pen. His ability to articulate the most subtle nuances of human nature and to create colorful characters are why his stories still have a major impact — even 400 years after he first wrote them. Whether you put pen to paper or use your understanding of the words around you to come up with creative approaches to problems, your potential as a Word Warrior is terrific.

For Standard Scores the average is 100, with 90 to 110 often considered the average range.

My Personality

2008-10-06T21:22:00.001+11:00

You Are An ISTJ

The Duty Fulfiller

You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done.
You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knitting.
Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you.
You are conservative and down-to-earth. You hardly ever do anything crazy.

In love, you are loyal and honest. If you commit yourself to someone, then you're fully committed.
For you, love is something that happens naturally. And you don't need romantic gestures to feel loved.

At work, you remember details well and are happy to take on any responsibility.
You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer.

How you see yourself: Decisive, stable, and dependable

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, conservative, and egotistical

What's" Your Personality Type?

little penguin

2008-10-01T22:43:00.006+10:00

I forgot when was the last time i bought a soft toy to myself, well.. it's not really my kind of thing.. Anyway, this little penguin will be my company at night. I haven't given name as well, nothing come out to my mind. Doesn't matter, I guess the little penguin will be by myside when i feel lonely or during times i couldnt sleep at night. Dear little penguin, I will take care of you, I will cherish you... Have I gone mad ?

Pretty Blue Sky

2008-10-01T22:12:00.007+10:00

Last Sunday, my friend brought me to a park so that we could rest and enjoy the nature. Well, it's kind of new experience for me; to lay down on the soft grass with eyes gazing at the sky. Believe me, it's such a good feeling and kind of good way to relief stress. i will try it again when i have the chance. Thx u so much 'K....', though only know you for about a week, you have taught me heaps and have been wonderful companion =p

Again...

2008-09-25T20:41:00.006+10:00

another cut.. another scar. sigh..sometimes it just happen, due to high demand of serving lately ..and most of the time, it is always the same spot..however, my boss once told me that, "the more cut you have the better you will become." seems like the wound itself has better natural design than my previous cuts. cool ?

Solitary Mood

2008-09-18T21:29:00.014+10:00

a man alone, engaging himself into the activity of creating sound,

playing the grand piano in the middle, the focal point of the image.
perhaps, the melody of melancholy or the expression of the so-called nonchalant.
surrounded by the dark brown wall, suggesting a world of darkness.
at the same time, the source of light illuminates the player, emphasising the solitude.

By: Jess Teo

badminton

2008-09-18T21:29:00.003+10:00

My fav. sport ; my new companion: Yonex NC TUFF 9 light.

BOA - Winter Love

2008-09-17T22:15:00.006+10:00

冬の妖精たちが輝き舞い降りてくる
何もすることないから　笑顔の写真　くちづけた
約束した映画の長い列に　二人してもう　並ぶことはないの？
だけど　心はそばにいるから
友達にも miss you　もう二度と戻れない

あなたが好きで会いたくて
キスが百億の雪を伝うの
どこかで偶然に巡り会える日まで
忘れなくても baby　好きでもいいですか？
ずっと　忘れない…

たった一人ぼっちの　自分に気づいた瞬間
本当の寂しさがね溢れてはまた込み上げる
人を愛すそんな想いを　今
大切だって　忘れないって思う
このアドレスを何度かえても
その声も夢も私を離れないの
時が流れて　違う恋しても
あなたを想い出すでしょう
出會えた運命が　交わしたぬくもりが
「あなたで良かった」って　心から言えるよ
いつか逢えるまで …

未來は can't stop　やって来る
悲しいほどはやく forever
幸せだって傷付いたって
誰かを愛する時 just alive
あなたが好きで会いたくて
キスが百億の雪をつたうの
どこかで偶然に巡り会える日まで
忘れなくても baby　好きでもいいですか？
ずっと　忘れない…

English Translation:

As shining winter fairies come floating down
I kissed your smiling picture because I had nothing else to do
At that long line outside of the movies, we vowed
To never stand in line here together again
But since my heart is next to yours
I still miss you even as a friend
But I can't turn back ever again

I love you, I want to see you again
With a kiss, expressed alongside ten billion snowflakes
Until the day that we happen to cross paths someplace
Baby, even if you forget me
Is it okay for me to still love you?
I'll never forget you

Since the moment that I was alone,
I've realised what true loneliness is
These overwhelming feelings in my heart that won't stop flowing out
Now, the way to love a person
Is so important that I think a person shouldn't forget it
No matter how many times my address changes
I'll never let go of that voice or that dream

Even if you love someone else as time flows by
I'll still remember you
Our destined meeting and the warmth we shared
I'm glad that it was you, and I can say it from my heart
Until we meet someday again

We can't stop the future from coming
The feeling of sadness can quickly become forever
Even if I get wounded when I'm happy
When I've fallen in love with a someone
Just alive

I love you, I want to see you again
With a kiss, expressed alongside ten billion snowflakes
Until the day that we happen to cross paths someplace
Baby, even if you forget me
Is it okay for me to still love you?
I'll never forget you

~ one of my fav. songs ~ perfect for 2008 winter theme song ~

Presently...

2008-09-13T21:52:00.007+10:00

it's been a month, as I have precisely counted. Throughout, I have gained many new perspectives towards life, getting more mature and stronger as day goes by. Currently, trust is impartial, honesty is crucial, moments are precious, love never fails and hope is everlasting. Life is a gift and whatever happens, I believe it happens for a reason. Everything that have happened, everything that I have now, I give thanks and it is good.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:30

Il Mare (시월애)

2008-08-23T20:16:00.005+10:00

A good companion for solitary moment at home, I watched this movie and has come to the conclusion that, I like it. Simple, soft, patience, and dreamy, the title, Il Mare, means 'The Sea' in Italian, and is the name of the seaside house which is the setting of the story. The Korean title, siworae is the Korean pronunciation of Hanja "時越愛," meaning "time-transcending love." Starring Jun Ji-hyun and Lee Jung-Jae, the story features two distinct timelines intertwined throughout the drama, with the only means of communication through a mysterious post box. I have watched the American version, The Lake House two years ago. Though the modern remade depicts better graphic, more beautiful setting and other advances, the original one is more inspiring, somehow. A story full of waiting and trust, with the time as the most important aspects between the protagonists' life. One of the most deep love stories that worth remembering, almost equal to my favorite movie, Turn Left, Turn Right ( 向左走·向右走)

Reality

2008-08-19T23:32:00.015+10:00

Grateful to know the reality in a hard way, I have no regrets.
Though still feeling blue, the truth has set me free.
A new dimension of understanding has come.
That, it is an honour to know the hidden things.
Whatever it is entrusted, I will keep it.
Moment full of memories will always be my treasures.
Accepting the facts as what they are, I am standing strong.
Remember it is nobody's fault. Don't blame yourself for that.
I understand and never look down upon. I have forgiven.
Support and cares will always be provided.
No matter what, my heart remains the same.

By: Jess Teo

untitled 2

2008-08-12T23:25:00.010+10:00

one and half a month has gone by. gradually i have learned to understand what ought to be done.. most important keys for me; patience and sincerity. there are respectable words and opinions around, however i still need wisdom and good judgement. some might think i am a fool ..but well, i know what i am doing. i know where i am heading and i have prepared to take risks for the consequences. it is not easy to comprehend. not everyone could have the heart to share the burden. and not many could understand what i am going through. but i will be strong, preservere and hope for the best. i dont want to repeat my mistakes in the past anymore.

knife and blood

2008-08-12T23:19:00.003+10:00

the result of lack of concentration or 'zero focus' while slicing.. tomato.. using my own knife.
at 6th august 2008.. which turned out to be not a very good day for me..

the blue ribbon gift

2008-08-02T22:30:00.008+10:00

may things become better for the coming year.
wishing for the best, filled with merriment.
whatever I want, is to see a smile on a face.
happy birthday...

Noir et Blanc

2008-08-02T22:11:00.009+10:00

2nd of August,

a morning spent for reading, accompanied by a cup of tea.
an afternoon filled with words & laughters with a sister friend.
an evening for solitary mood. Time for personal self & relaxation.

July swiftly past.. a month full of patience and learning.
Grateful for the present, coming back to myself.
Efforts have been undertaken.. so far it is the best.
Noir et blanc, certainly it will be unlocked.

Hello Owen !

2008-07-27T11:48:00.006+10:00

My first time looking at baby Owen, one week old, the first child of my cousins; Edwyn & Shalyn.
Looking at how cute he is, I wonder what will he become one day. Surely he will be a very successful man in the future, making his parents proud and smile. Besides, listening to Shalyn's life experience during the time of labour has taught me another life perspective. It is a very painful moment for her, but the end result is worthy. I am glad to see her well and happy now. A mother's love is noble, strong and unselfish, indeed.

Untitled

2008-07-23T00:52:00.007+10:00

it's near the end of July now that I realise many things have happened... Sometimes things change and sometimes things just turn up naturally. I discover more about myself that I never thought about before. It was a very confusing process at first; not knowing what to do, and not knowing how to control. I couldn't help it but just keep thinking about it. Even tears flow sometimes. During the first two weeks, my behaviour somehow impacted people around me and I knew that I shouldn't. However, I feel blessed that they are always patient, always being there and supportive of me. Gradually, I am more stable now. And still learning how I should keep going. I know I have to be stronger, since my soft spot keeps coming out at times.

I was a fool not to realise it long time ago. I regretted when I used to take things for granted. When I have a chance one day, I would say sorry for hurting, for disappointing... I am grateful that I have a 2nd chance. I only wish for happiness.. wish for the very best, but not for my own personal gain. I felt helpless sometimes for not knowing what to do or say, an ironic side of me. What I truly know is.....I just want to see a smile on a face......

Yellow & Purple

2008-07-19T11:27:00.007+10:00

For me, Yellow colour is easy to see, simple and relaxing. You don't have to be challenged to look at it as red does. Yellow symbolizes wisdom. Yellow means joy and happiness. People of high intellect favor yellow. Yellow daffodils are a symbol of unrequited love. Moreover, Yellow roses symbolize friendship and freedom. They are the rose of familiar love and domestic happiness.

Personally, Yellow is one of my least favorittes of colour. Looking at this picture, I prefer the purple background. Purple has been used to symbolize mystery, as well as royalty. Purple is the colour most favored by artists. It is a colour of elegence and grandeur. Wish I could get a purple rose one day..

Waiting

2008-07-11T23:22:00.004+10:00

Yesterday around 4pm..I found myself sitting at the corner of the street, waiting..
At the same time, a bicycle stood still, waiting for the owner. Realising that many times in life, things don't turn up as ease as we think it ought to be..

sashi don

2008-07-04T17:49:00.001+10:00

my latest fish.. still not up to perfection.