The Four Important Lessons

These are the four important lessons in my life now : 

1)  Past is past. Once the season is over, it will never return as time is unable to repeat itself.  Learn from it and move on. Never made mistakes from the past anymore

2)   Cherish all that you have now, especially people.
    Embrace them as you never did before…Treasure your family members, extended family, colleagues, existing friends, especially those you still have and those you neglect before, human around you… Treat them nicely and be kind, yet remain cautious on maintaining distance and private life.

3)  Love your partner.

Love as best as you can.

Love at all times, despite the circumstances

Love is about giving, not gaining, loyalty and commitment.

Love improves, and brings the best of your partner and yourself.

Giving thanks and cherish each second, each minute, each hour you have with your lover. 

Aim hard to achieve true love

4)   Most importantly…

God is the only source of all, all that I have come from Him alone.

You can’t buy peace from the world, let alone human…only Jesus can give real peace.

Who never makes mistake? None of us is righteous and we are sinners who need a Saviour..(Romans 3:23-24)… Indeed, through grace we are given mercy, forgiveness hope…

Thus, each day I strive in reminding myself that I need Him , each day I need strength to go on.. knowing that I am weak without Him.. and each day I commit, in prayer and faith...Sometimes I fall, sometimes I made mistakes.. but I know I have to stand up and never give up, knowing that He never leaves me nor forsake me.

In His promise, I stand.

Reflection

Scenes and acts change in drama opera and ballet, and so does our lives. 

10th June 2012 marked the significant change in my life, which was unpredictable, yet amiable. 

There are blissful moments, full of delights, ceaseless amusement that I am thankful of..

I believe that there are reasons behind all things. Nevertheless, some are exclusive... 

In spite of all,.. many lessons  have been learnt hoping that in the future..I would mature ..

One thing that I could not deny...that would be grace.

All that I have, all that I am.. I know surely it is permitted ...

Wouldn't I cherish it ? Wouldn't I be grateful ? 

Yes.. I do..

For all the time and moments that I have.. .

For all the parts to partake... in all seasons of lives....I want to give my best.. no matter how difficult or how hard it is.. I have fully committed for this...

May this journey be truly blessed.. may this journey change me to be a better woman, to be a better partner, to be faithful to the end...

The May State of Life

Many words inside, yet unable to truly convey them into sentences.. significantly.. personally..privately..it is a path with the bitter sweet, fragrant and aroma.. mise en place.. All that I am certain is that.. it is worth it.. No matter how vague it is now, there will be a day it would be crystal clear.. and I am waiting.. patiently. Each day passed by, the more assured I am..as it is the form of savoir-faire ..c'est mon la vie...I doubt not the moments with form of struggles and doubts.. yet, wouldn't it adds colours and sparks that no one else would comprehend ? Journey of life.. even unexpected gestures have made me simply.. smile .. I cherish each second ..yes, I do...

Tuhan Pasti Sanggup

Kuatkanlah hatimu
Lewati setiap persoalan
Tuhan Yesus slalu menopangmu
Jangan berhenti harap padaNya

Tuhan pasti sanggup
TanganNya takkan terlambat 'tuk mengangkatmu
Tuhan masih sanggup
Percayalah Dia tak tinggalkan mu
(Dia kan mengangkatmu)

Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kq3BFRDl5I

Di saat kita merasa lemah, di saat kita tidak memiliki jalan keluar, Tuhan Yesus adalah tempat pengharapan. Sering kali situasi membuat kita merasa gagal, tetapi kutetap percaya, bahwa Tuhan akan membuka jalan dengan cara yang ajaib. Bahkan, segala hal yang terjadi diizinkan Bapa dengan maksud yang baik. Walau kadang kita tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa, biarlah kubawa semua doa kepada Dia, sebab Dia Bapa yang mendengar segala isi hati kita dan Dia sanggup. Kuatkanlah hatimu..

It has been 5 years long..

Compared to the last two years's old and new, this year was much more peaceful and I felt blessed. Gratitude was the words to depict, for having this momentum to countdown towards 2012 and to view the fireworks, accompanied by my sole closest friend that I had at that moment. Looking at the sky together, viewing the blasting colour of the fire, it was a very pleasant time, as we both were looking at the same sky, the same fire, at the exact similar location, 5 years ago, back in 2007.
For this another unexpected opportunity, I truly thank God.
Sometimes, certain friendships are hard to maintain.
The most precious ones need to pass through fires and pains, and the one that stands out the most and survive, is the most valuable, the most beautiful and the most precious. Sometimes, you might not know how to express it, sometimes your thanksgiving are kept only for yourself .For we would not know what friendship truly is, and might would not fully understand it. However, all the sharing, the keeping of gifts for years and all the thoughts, & time spent would prove on how much we value this. For sure, You wouldn't know how long it would last, and how long you are permitted by the Author of Life to maintain it.
Each second is precious, each moment is memorable. Will cherish this always.

2012 - The Year of God's Favour

Entering 2012, to have new faith for receiving His Favour.

For this new year, I pray and wish only one thing in my spiritual life : to be closer, to be deeper, to be more rooted, and to experience much more than before. 2011 had been a truly awesome year. I dare to testify that I was brought out of a miry clay, our of a darkness and He had really raise me up, giving me mercy and new spirit. The year of multiplication and promotion really happened. And by His grace, He had transformed me daily, sanctify me each time, and had written a beautiful 2011 for me. And most importantly, I give thanks for His huge trust in me, especially in my ministry in praise & worship.

I want 2012 to be the year where I soar with Him. To experience His presence that I never experience before, to worship in a way I never worship before, to go deeper, to pray more and to be bold in proclaiming His kingdom, to bless people around me especially through songs of praises, through music. I want to give my all, my best and to run this race only to please and to be His true worshiper. That's my goal, that's my heart, that's my prayer.

May He hear my heart, love me,strengthen me and walk with Me, until I have finished the missions and calls that He has prepared for me in 2012. By faith, I receive His favour.

As Time Goes By - A Tribute

When no one's around, when everyone's gone, the time you have with the only company left would be much valuable. These 3 consistent Saturdays have been pleasant, and worth to cherish, especially when you don't really have much chances throughout the year to have such quality times together. However, when you are permitted to spend time with, after such a long separation, it is beautiful.

Appreciate the endless generosity, the hours spent, all the wonderful meals, all the sharing and life experiences that I am entrusted with. All the ups and downs, all the goods and the ugly sides of life, to be able to know all... I would say, more than I deserve to know.. made me treasure this more. To think about it, this is the longest, lasting, friendship that I really have in Melbourne.. and I pray that it will last..I would never forget the time when you stand by me when no one else does, to offer me helps and company without complaining when no one else around.. Ceaseless gratitude... Words would not be able to describe how much this meant a lot to me. And since, I am limited and lacking in verbal expression, writing and prayers would be the only perfect channel of thoughts and emotions, the Lord knows best.

Christmas Eve, 24 December 2011, has been a memorable dinner, a wonderful Christmas present for me. We smiled, remembering that we had our first fine dining together in 31st December 2007, such a long time, but it just seems like yesterday. Amazing it is, to meet a person, similar to you, who has shared so much, with such a strong bond. I may or not know how do you view on this. But knowing myself how truth and precious this is for me, it is more than enough.

My only wish, is to ask for nothing for myself, but to have this friendship continues, as time goes by, to be able to witness how you beat the winds and conquer all the challenges, to be able to witness you grow more and more in Him, to be able to witness you to gain the best of the best, and to be able to see you happy and smile always.

I Thank Thee

From acquaintances to different friends, from friends to brother and sister..
It wasn't smooth relations. I ran away from them before..I avoided them before..
It is rare, that I eventually have acknowledged them as my mentors...
Unexpected that the relations have head to this direction.
Heeding their advices and countless hours of counsels.
Disciplined I gained, as they rebuked in love.
Respect and awe I have for them.
For wisdom and the presence of the most Holy is in them.

As I prayed with them together in unity,
in the presence of all my brothers and sisters..
A sudden swept of His presence fell upon us.
On my left, my beloved sister..
and on my right, my precious brother..
All of the sudden, the Lord spoke to me.
" They are your mom and dad, your spiritual mom and dad"
Engulfed in this sudden revelation..
I visualized myself as a little girl,
Hand in hand, being held in the middle by her parents.

I won't live today without Him
and I won't be who I am now without
your teachings and cares.


" I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up" - Psalm 27: 10

Destined for a new journey

Months have passed alongside with changes that occur. April 2011 marks the beginning of the new chapter of my life. Indulging in nostalgia, I picture myself as a solitary figure, almost silhouette, walking alongside the wave of gentle ocean during sunset. Step by step, my feet touched the sandy soil, smooth and rough at the same time. And there seemed to be no time limit, just a setting, just a moment.

Sometimes, my feet bleed when the shells cracked my skin, disturbed. Sometimes, the bitter cold wrapped against me, as if pushing me to retreat. And many times, countless tears fought trying to win the storm of life. However, I move forward. Not knowing when it would end.

Like an ugly duckling who wondered around searching for identity, I had lived that kind of life. Thirsty to know 'who I really am', and I had been hunting for the answers for eons and ended up in myriad of human sorrows and heartaches. Being lost, I would have fallen into deep darkness...

Amazingly, grace is calling. And destiny would never fail. When you have been chosen, you couldn't run away. Miracles offer an unthinkable direction and I responded. Indeed, when a good shepherd is He, my Lord would never let me go astray. I have returned to the purpose of life. And I have cherished the new identity that would never be taken away. A meant to be, like the miracle that transformed the swan.

Yes, I am still a lady who loves solitude. I am the same melancholic fellow who appreciates aesthetic beauty of arts, music and literature, a sure idealist person with complex personality, yet undeniably, towards the better. I have founded my calling. I have discovered the new beauty, the intimate presence of The Lord of the universe, how great Thou art. Reasons behind I understand naught, wisdom of man would never attain to comprehend. Never would I expect the bestowing of such privilege. Only I know, it is an honour to heed. What I have before would all be secondary and I am pursuing the higher voice, the higher purpose, even though prices have to be paid.

and now, though there are only one set of footprints, my Lord carries me. Our sights couldn't see, but faith does. And He will never leave me nor forsake me evermore.

Dedicated to : my beloved brothers and sisters whom have been sent by Him to bless me. My gratitude towards all of you. God bless.

I love her

Despite having busy days as a full time house-wife and a piano teacher, she still serves faithfully as piano accompanist at church, she takes English lesson, and regularly join another choir group in the city.. and recently she is taking flower arrangement course.. and that's the roses that she proudly arranged and displayed at our living room.
This woman is my mom.

It takes like almost 20 years for me to truly understand her.
She is very strong and independent woman. Beautiful, strict and never tolerate things against her rules. The queen of the house she is.. and I never remember her spoiling me. She always pushed me to achieve the best and sometimes, she is just too stubborn. Yes, we disagree on lots of things. I argue with her lots and sometimes never comprehend what is on her minds.. However, looking back at my own self, I do have her reflections.. I have her strong will, I have her stubborn mind, and I am critical just like her....

Realizing this, I want to be a better daughter for her. I know I am not a very good one.. and I don't know how to show my affection to her. But I do cherish her .. I appreciate her for what she has done for me, for taking care of me, for teaching me and especially introducing me to music..and my faith in Christ.

Having her is a blessing and I love my mom.

Lord, I thank you for giving me my mom.
Thank you for my dad
for my brother Jason
my brother Joshua
and thank you for my family..

Being Still

Being infected with an unfortunate infection that ...disabled me to stand still for even an hour, was devastating at first.. but have taught me a lot.

Special thanks for friends who care for me so much during this period, especially those who gave me a ride and sent me home... thank you......

Being grateful to have the rest, and enjoy the family surrounding.. which comforts me...

and most importantly, I have come to appreciate for even the ability to walk. It is so simple yet, many of us human have taken it for granted.. It is a gift and we should be grateful that we still could eat, talk, walk and breath in Oxygen as usual day by day. Everything is by grace...

Thank you Lord, for taking care of me.

~ Learning to Give Thanks even in not-so-good time ~

Domestic Struggle

Can you believe that.. sometimes I do have thoughts of running away from home ?

As far as I could remember, I did have that thoughts quite a number since I was a little girl…

Yet I know that it is impossible to do so.. for the sake of obedient, for the sake of being grateful, for the sake of dependency… and ..for the sake of knowing that it is not right.....

Many times I felt like an alien, a foreigner, someone weird or different.

Many times I felt distrust, intimidated, that tense atmosphere indescribable with words…

Is it because of character differences? Differences in point of view? Or Harsh differences, the insensitive versus sensitivity ? Or myself? Or realizing the inevitable truth that what I really want in secret would be opposed harshly? … Would be rejected… without mercy.. ? I do not know…only love that holds everything together.

Or am I writing this to make myself better ?

November Rain

Recently it has been raining and windy. It is no longer sunny as much compared to the previous week and thank God for that. Without knowing why, it is very pleasing to fit myself in this kind of weather. It suits my mood at the moment and undenyingly ideal for many solitary moments. I just love the rain and enjoy it so much. Also, going to bed for a good night sleep has become something to look forward to. It is simply nice to sleep, accompanied by the sounds of soft dripping rain. Though many times weird dreams occurred these days. Maybe that's what you would get from the unconscious mind; the incomprehensible, which keep on whispering at night when you couldn't comprehend the reality in the awaken state, just like the mysteries within the rainy seasons. But whatever it is, everything is worthwhile. Knowing that I am not alone, I could still walk on with a smile on a face. Surely the light will always shine.

In the Closet

Enclosed within the wall, there she was.
Juxtaposition between the obvious truth, against
the charming purplish-marron, the hidden mysteries.
"Mirror mirror on the wall", reflection caught in a flick.
Expression shown.. Was it happiness or sadness ?
Remember that the eyes would tell the truth, it never lied.
Door on the side, a sign of another path. It was a matter of choice.
How should the key be used? Only wisdom would knew. 

Reality

Grateful to know the reality in a hard way, I have no regrets.
Though still feeling blue, the truth has set me free.
A new dimension of understanding has come.
That, it is an honour to know the hidden things.
Whatever it is entrusted, I will keep it.
Moment full of memories will always be my treasures.
Accepting the facts as what they are, I am standing strong.
Remember it is nobody's fault. Don't blame yourself for that.
I understand and never look down upon. I have forgiven.
Support and cares will always be provided.
No matter what, my heart remains the same.

By: Jess Teo

untitled 2

one and half a month has gone by. gradually i have learned to understand what ought to be done.. most important keys for me; patience and sincerity. there are respectable words and opinions around, however i still need wisdom and good judgement. some might think i am a fool ..but well, i know what i am doing. i know where i am heading and i have prepared to take risks for the consequences. it is not easy to comprehend. not everyone could have the heart to share the burden. and not many could understand what i am going through. but i will be strong, preservere and hope for the best. i dont want to repeat my mistakes in the past anymore.

the blue ribbon gift

may things become better for the coming year.
wishing for the best, filled with merriment.
whatever I want, is to see a smile on a face.
happy birthday...

Noir et Blanc

2nd of August,

a morning spent for reading, accompanied by a cup of tea.
an afternoon filled with words & laughters with a sister friend.
an evening for solitary mood. Time for personal self & relaxation.

July swiftly past.. a month full of patience and learning.
Grateful for the present, coming back to myself.
Efforts have been undertaken.. so far it is the best.
Noir et blanc, certainly it will be unlocked.

Untitled

it's near the end of July now that I realise many things have happened...  Sometimes things change and sometimes things just turn up naturally. I discover more about myself that I never thought about before. It was a very confusing process at first; not knowing what to do, and not knowing how to control. I couldn't help it but just keep thinking about it. Even tears flow sometimes. During the first two weeks, my behaviour somehow impacted people around me and I knew that I shouldn't. However, I feel blessed that they are always patient, always being there and supportive of me. Gradually, I am more stable now. And still learning how I should keep going. I know I have to be stronger, since my soft spot keeps coming out at times. 

I was a fool not to realise it long time ago. I regretted when I used to take things for granted. When I have a chance one day, I would say sorry for hurting, for disappointing... I am grateful that I have a 2nd chance. I only wish for happiness.. wish for the very best, but not for my own personal gain. I  felt helpless sometimes for not knowing what to do or say, an ironic side of me. What I truly know is.....I just want to see a smile on a face......

The Giver

Remembering the time when things turned up-side-down, when situation seemed to be unable to comprehend. Sometimes, it is really not the path.. but the Guardian that concerns.

There was a night when all the merriment was left empty inside. Yet, it contained sense of relief for the truth that had been revealed.
However, good things just happened unexpectedly and I wonder why.
The truth is, when I was in the solitary mood, a companion was there all of a sudden; in terms of giving, assurance, quality time and care. 
Ironically, the giver had not an inkling of what was going on .
Maybe the giver was not even aware of the lasting impression.
I could assure that my gratitude is genuinely deep. 

Still, it was the timing that made me wonder.
The night indeed, had become a moment full of memories.