BIC Choir 2011

Such an honor to minister together with these lovely people, who share the same passion, the same spirit and the same love towards our Father. We are not professionals, some of us have zero music background, we don't have a vocal teacher, but we have one thing in common : a heart to worship. Thinking back, it is indeed amazing, how we really had gone through song after song, a challenge after challenge, many busy practices and time spent in prayers. And thus, 2011 has been such a rewarding year. Of course, without Him, this ministry is just a mere performance of human works. It is only because of His grace that this choir exist. So we give all the glory unto the Lord alone. I believe that, we are still allowed to sing and serve, because His spirit is in all of us. And I know that this ministry will continue to be used to bring blessings and to proclaim the good news.

I am looking forward for 2012. Another grace, another year, to work and to give our best for this ministry. It would be great to meet the members again. Missing you all. God bless you.
Love, Jes.

It Had to be You

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found
The somebody who could make me be true
Could make me be blue or even be glad
Just to be sad just thinking of you
Some others I've seen might never be mean
Might never be cross or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else gave me the thrill
With all your faults
I love you still
It had to be you
It had to be you
It had to be you

Betty Hutton
"It Had To Be You" (1944)
From the Paramount Picture "Incendiary Blonde"
Written by Gus Kahn and Isham Jones
Orchestra conducted by Paul Weston
Released on Capitol 155

Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h809JwAGB0&feature=related

Every Prayer

Every Prayer - Israel Houghton. feat. Mary Mary

I heard 'em say He brought me from a mighty long way
And now today I can testify that I believe it
And on my way I realized He's the one who kept me
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He has captured every tear assuring me He hears

Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
And I believe He's a God that always answers prayer

I heard 'em say the prayers of the righteous availeth much
And now today I can testify that I believe it
Now on my way I wanna let you know that He will keep you
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He's captured every tear assuring me that He hears

Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
I believe He's a God that always answers prayer

Don't despise the tears you've cried
Or the prayers that you have prayed
Heaven heard your every word
And the answer, the answer's on the way

I heard 'em say there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on and you will see there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things

Oh, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on, hold on, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
You can make it, you can make it
You can make it for he has done great things

I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God who always answers prayers
Yes, He does

http://youtu.be/Kijc_5327yE

Quotes and Phrases from Brother Lawrence

Quotes to be remember from Brother Lawrence (1611 -1691):

• To that end I know the heart must be empty of all else, for God wishes to be its only processor without emptying it of all that is not Himself.
• It is not needful always to be in church to be with God. We can make a chapel of our heart, to which we can from time to time withdraw to have gentle, humble, loving communion with Him.
• I work before God simply in faith, with humility and with love, and I apply myself to do nothing, say nothing and think nothing, which can displease Him.
• Our sole business in this life is to please God.
• God seems to choose those who had been the greatest sinners to bestow upon them His greatest favours.
• I looked on Him in my heart as my Father and my God. I worshipped Him there as often as I could, holding my spirit in His holy presence, and recalling Him to mind as often as I found myself turned aside from Him.
• God very well knows what is our need, and all He does is for our benefit. If we knew how much He loves us, we should be every ready to receive equally at His hand the sweet and the bitter. Even the most painful things and the most hard would be sweet and pleasing to us.

Spiritual Principles:

To look always to God and His glory in all that we do, say and undertake; that the end we seek should be to become faultless worshippers of God in this life as we hope to be throughout eternity.

Practices Essential to Acquire the Spiritual Life

The most holy practice, the nearest to daily life, and the most essential for the spiritual life, is the practice of the presence of God.

To worship Him in Spirit And in Truth:

God is spirit and he must indeed be worshipped in truth – that is to say by a humble and genuine worship of the spirit in the depth and centre of our soul.

It is God alone who can see this worship, a worship we can so often repeat that the end it becomes as it were natural, as if God were one with our soul and our soul one with God. Practice makes this clear.

To worship God in truth is to recognise Him for what He is and to recognise ourselves for what we are.

Concerning the Presence of God

The presence of God is a directing of our spirit to God or a present remembrance of God which can come about either through the imagination or the understanding.

Means of Attaining the Presence of God: a great purity of life & a great faithfulness in the practice of this presence.

Bibliography:

"The Practice of the Presence of God", Brother Lawrence, translated by E.M. Blaiklock, foreword by Jennifer Rees Larcombe, Hodder & Stoughton Ltd, London 1981.

Sharing from Workplace

My current occupation as a customer service coordinator..

I have been working for almost 9 months. Do I like it ? not really. But i live with it, without a choice.
I got this job: by grace. (Dec 2010)
I never ever even thought about applying for customer service job.(In fact, I didn't apply. A kind hearted manager approached me in church and I was given this job).

Some background, Before and After:

Honestly I admitted that I did and maybe do, or do, have problems with people and temper.
I prefered a quiet environment of work, where I did not have to speak to strangers everyday, with no disruption when I am doing work. Another thing is, I am so used to solitary and I love it. Being alone doing work, had been my life for years.

My academic life requires me to spend a lot of time alone. I could shut myself in a library reading and practicing for whole day, without talking to a single soul. I was a student, who preferred to eat alone so that I could spend time studying. I was friendless even in few uni subjects, without an inkling of the need of a company.

These moulded my characters to be a perfectionist, a loner and an independent individual. Followed by this, ended up working in a hectic place where I committed, I strived, climbed to the top, became on of the best. Yet, my temper was built up lot there, being impatient, being easily angered or "manipulation" of stuff were a daily norm of behaviour that did not only acceptted as tolerable, but sometimes are required.

Then after I quit the company, I was jobless for 8 months, depressed due to personal problem, and desperate for a job in 2010..

22th December 2010, I was accepted in the current place.

Initially, it was a really hard place to work due to the huge differences in the environment in comparison to my uni and previous work situation. Like it or not, I need to talk, forced to accept complaints and learned to be patient.

I sort of asking for mercy.. begging and telling myself that : One day, you have to get out from this place.
And the more I cried out, the more I struggled...and the more depressed I become at work. Sanctification and denying the true you is extremely hard.

mid April 2011...
Finally, I started to realise that, I have to pray for the work place. Then I took a day in a week to start praying for the place. May the Lord bless this place, that's the main point, bless the souls, save the souls. And change myself, for I realise that my being here ... have to be the light of the place..
It doesn't have to be a long prayer.. but I believe that, when we do it, faithfully, God works.

As for me, I was undergoing a hard changes. I realise that God put me here for a training. To learn to talk. To learn to rejoice, to learn to smile and care and BE HUMBLE. Scolded and being complained sometimes, but what else I could do, then just keep my mouth zipped..It is hard, but whenever I started to let my nature to have the stage, " No " and " SHut Up" are the frequent terms, bombarding my heart.

Gradually

The more we obey, the more we realise, it is He taking over us.
To be honest, the job is still very boring and dry (honestly), but I live with it. Believing that one day I still could go out for the place.But not now.

Sometimes, I received gifts from customers ( clothes, books, foods that I never expect and I did not deserve these. And I wonder, why did these people buy me stuff ? They do touch my heart..and will be remembered.

I myself still have struggles with my flesh, with all the weaknesses I have and yes, I do need His strength to be patient daily, to care, to at least be nice to customer, and to remember HIm. Daily prayer before work is important. I humbly encourage you all to give 5 mins prayer before you work or class or exam or etc.

Epilogue

Remember Joseph ? Who was sent to Potiphar's house and the place was bless ? I believe that when His presence is in us, He controls the place. No one could harm you unless He permits. And the place would have a different atmosphere.

Sometimes, God led us to a place or a situation, where we complainted a lot. Yet, in the end, we never know that, He is planning of something and His plan would never be as what we thought.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Kiss of Heaven - Darlene Zschech

The Kiss of Heaven, by Darlene Zschech : Highlights and Quotes

Grace: a disposition of kindness and compassion, free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God, a state of sanctification by God, divine love and protection bestowed freely on people. Favor: an act of gracious kindness, a feeling of favorable regard, considered as the favorite, bestow a privilege upon.
Grace is used to talk about our position in life, while favor is used much more frequently to talk about our mission. Grace to live and favor to move.

For it is by grace that I live. This, I have only totally understood fully over these past 2 years. Reminding me always, that even the chance to breath, the opportunity of being alive, the privileges of enjoying all the blessings and the honour to serve Him, are indeed, His abundant grace for me. Thus, with a joyful heart. I bless, because He has blessed me. I love, because He has first love me.

July 2011 had become one of the significant months for me in my walk with Christ. It is significant due to the commissions that He alone has bestowed upon me. I remember the night of July the 9th, when pastor John Mendez imparted the anointing of the "Favor of the Lord" upon many brothers and sisters that came. This is followed by another few occasions of the anointing through Pastor Johan, and my personal mentor, whom had led me so much in my spiritual growth. Favor of the Lord is real, when we receive with faith. My life started to change since that time. Since then, my walk has been directed towards fulfilling my destiny, the calling.

Heaven Exchange : moments when God literally exchanges our weaknesses for His strength, our brokenness for His wholeness. Walking with Him involves surrendering my old nature to Him. The more we dive into the truth, the more I am aware of the sinful nature in me. And the more I realise how dirty I am, the more I need the blood of Jesus to cleanse me. At first, it was hard, it was painful , I denied it, and I rebelled for not wanting to change. I tried to defend myself, until I realised that, it was either following Him or no. I couldn't stand in two boats anymore and I had to choose. Thank God, I surrender. Impatient, easily angered, hot-tempered, workaholic, over perfectionist, self-pity and extreme emotions are all my weaknesses. Bringing all my weaknesses to Him increase my dependency on Him. And He did honor my honesty. There was a time when, before I led worship that I came to Him saying that: Lord, I was not a good speaker, but I surrender. Amazingly, He put words in my mouth when I served.. and I know, it wasn't me. It was Holy Spirit, speaking through me. This is heaven exchange. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9)

True worship is a daily lifestyle that honors God. The differences between worship and music : worship is inclusive, not exclusive. The music of worship embraces every man, woman and child. The heart of worship implores us to bring an offering of heart. It allows everyone to come and participate. On the other hand, music was created to carry, capture and communicate the presence of God.
As a musician, both through academic training and personal lifestyle, I had been living in a mindset of a musician, having the idealism of a musician, having the attitude and the character of a musician and even, I had to admit that I had the pride as a musician. This is what it means by music is exclusive. It was difficult and a constant struggle to distinguish the line of music and worship. Many times I separated the the essence of worship and performance and this did not please the Lord. I do love music, and I love to sing. But when I sing with the mindset of a performer, my heart would not be fully His. It became a human show, and the fragrant of His presence would be absent. Yes, this is one of my weaknesses that is in need of constant changes. I humbly need Him to put my heart of worship to Him above everything, and music would only be the instrument to His presence. Let me be His instrument, for He created music in me to please Him, and not myself.

The Lord doesn't require how good you are. He only desire your heart. I had been blinded by the pride that I had, and it was only because of His grace that finally I come to understand, this year.

When coming back to the heart of worship, then I realised that, adoring Him is the most important. It is not a matter of how good or talented I could sing, how musically knowledgeable I have.. but His presence is the most important. He alone deserves the worship and He is seeking the true worshiper who worship in spirit and truth. (John 4:23-24).

Worship alone is not enough. We need to be rooted in His words. And the more He speaks to us through the words, the words become so alive that, we would be hungry for more and more. Pray for revelation when reading the words as Human 's logic would not comprehend the hidden truth. Seek for the meanings, let it become alive for the Words of God are powerful.

Darlene quoted that 'The more we know of God's Word, the more the Holy Spirit can use God's truth to direct us in our daily walk.' Respect and fear the Lord, and humbly ask for it, and for the knowledge of the Words are one of the true treasures of the world.
" He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)

Advices concerning pride:
The most dangerous to the flow of favor, is our own pride. When God's favor is shining on us, it tends to put us in the spotlight of attention. Signs of pride: easily offended, self-centeredness, fighting for our rights, isolation, needing to be served.

Pride and self-righteousness often hinder ourselves to be used fully by God. For carrying pride means we do not need Him. This is a very crucial point that I myself try to heed, especially when I know I have several gifts. My mentor, friends and even leaders have constantly giving advices about pride and I want to be careful with it. For this, I need God to change my heart, renew my mind, deny my flesh and undergoing the process of sanctification. I pray that as I encounter Him more and more, I am more in need of a humble heart. So that, when I bless, I shall serve in humility. So that when I sing, I sing with a pure heart, and so that, when I lead, I lead people to salvation.

Be clothed with humility. Humility is freedom from pride or arrogance. It is not thinking of yourself as being lower than a worm, because if we are going to lead people, we have to be out in front. But leading is all about taking people by the hand and pointing them to Jesus - not showing off our own wonderfulness ! "Who may ascent the hill of the Lord ? Who may stand in his holy place ?He who has clean hands and a pure heart?" (Psalm 24:3-4)

Undeniably, Darlene Zschech is an incredible woman of God, a true worshiper of the Lord and an inspiring leader. Reading this book has blessed me so much and taught me heaps. Her insights inspire me to deepen my walk with God and to shout and declare His name on high.

" I long to be an extravagant worshiper that God would discover the song in my heart to be elaborate, over-generous, and wasteful in my pursuit of Him" - Darlene Zschech.

I Thank Thee

From acquaintances to different friends, from friends to brother and sister..
It wasn't smooth relations. I ran away from them before..I avoided them before..
It is rare, that I eventually have acknowledged them as my mentors...
Unexpected that the relations have head to this direction.
Heeding their advices and countless hours of counsels.
Disciplined I gained, as they rebuked in love.
Respect and awe I have for them.
For wisdom and the presence of the most Holy is in them.

As I prayed with them together in unity,
in the presence of all my brothers and sisters..
A sudden swept of His presence fell upon us.
On my left, my beloved sister..
and on my right, my precious brother..
All of the sudden, the Lord spoke to me.
" They are your mom and dad, your spiritual mom and dad"
Engulfed in this sudden revelation..
I visualized myself as a little girl,
Hand in hand, being held in the middle by her parents.

I won't live today without Him
and I won't be who I am now without
your teachings and cares.


" I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up" - Psalm 27: 10

Wedding for the Deserved

23 rd July 2011 would be the most important day for Jenny & Michael, as they joined together, hand in hand as husband and wife.

From the my deepest heart, I congratulated them wholeheartedly and was truly privileged to be one of the witnesses. It was a blessed wedding that she deserves.I have known Jenny as a woman who truly love God and through her testimonies, I have been greatly encouraged. She forgave and stood strong in her times of turmoil and even her best friend called her ' God's princess.' As I looked at her on her wedding day, I know that she is so fulled of joy.Whatever pains and sorrow she had in the past, God has always known. And He has especially created that day for Jenny. For she truly deserved it. My brother Michael, and sister Jenny, God bless you both for your new walk of life.

My love for piano..

I know I have drifted away from my path since 5 years ago. The days where I spent for music, live for music, with piano as my lover...The solitary hours in practice room... the breath that I used to hold each day.. Wishing to turn back the time, yet it is impossible. However inside me, the burning desire still persist.. and every time I listen to the tune..  I wish I could go back there.  No matter what I do, no matter what I toil for, alas ! My love of music still prevail. It is in me and it will never change. The whole emotion and body feel so much alive when it comes to me.  Yes, regret exists, however.. mistake has been made. I should have appreciated this in the past, I should have stayed focus on track... Surely the presence taught me to look for the future.. There is still hope. The love for music is still with me. .How much I dream for standing in the middle of the stage again.. I hope that I would be able to play in a recital once more.. Yes, in a grand hall, being poured by all the lights.  Yet, for now.. I surrender my desire to You... the inmost me... I dedicate my art to You.... I have my dreams. but let Your will be done.

Destined for a new journey

Months have passed alongside with changes that occur. April 2011 marks the beginning of the new chapter of my life. Indulging in nostalgia, I picture myself as a solitary figure, almost silhouette, walking alongside the wave of gentle ocean during sunset. Step by step, my feet touched the sandy soil, smooth and rough at the same time. And there seemed to be no time limit, just a setting, just a moment.

Sometimes, my feet bleed when the shells cracked my skin, disturbed. Sometimes, the bitter cold wrapped against me, as if pushing me to retreat. And many times, countless tears fought trying to win the storm of life. However, I move forward. Not knowing when it would end.

Like an ugly duckling who wondered around searching for identity, I had lived that kind of life. Thirsty to know 'who I really am', and I had been hunting for the answers for eons and ended up in myriad of human sorrows and heartaches. Being lost, I would have fallen into deep darkness...

Amazingly, grace is calling. And destiny would never fail. When you have been chosen, you couldn't run away. Miracles offer an unthinkable direction and I responded. Indeed, when a good shepherd is He, my Lord would never let me go astray. I have returned to the purpose of life. And I have cherished the new identity that would never be taken away. A meant to be, like the miracle that transformed the swan.

Yes, I am still a lady who loves solitude. I am the same melancholic fellow who appreciates aesthetic beauty of arts, music and literature, a sure idealist person with complex personality, yet undeniably, towards the better. I have founded my calling. I have discovered the new beauty, the intimate presence of The Lord of the universe, how great Thou art. Reasons behind I understand naught, wisdom of man would never attain to comprehend. Never would I expect the bestowing of such privilege. Only I know, it is an honour to heed. What I have before would all be secondary and I am pursuing the higher voice, the higher purpose, even though prices have to be paid.

and now, though there are only one set of footprints, my Lord carries me. Our sights couldn't see, but faith does. And He will never leave me nor forsake me evermore.

Dedicated to : my beloved brothers and sisters whom have been sent by Him to bless me. My gratitude towards all of you. God bless.