I Thank Thee

From acquaintances to different friends, from friends to brother and sister..
It wasn't smooth relations. I ran away from them before..I avoided them before..
It is rare, that I eventually have acknowledged them as my mentors...
Unexpected that the relations have head to this direction.
Heeding their advices and countless hours of counsels.
Disciplined I gained, as they rebuked in love.
Respect and awe I have for them.
For wisdom and the presence of the most Holy is in them.

As I prayed with them together in unity,
in the presence of all my brothers and sisters..
A sudden swept of His presence fell upon us.
On my left, my beloved sister..
and on my right, my precious brother..
All of the sudden, the Lord spoke to me.
" They are your mom and dad, your spiritual mom and dad"
Engulfed in this sudden revelation..
I visualized myself as a little girl,
Hand in hand, being held in the middle by her parents.

I won't live today without Him
and I won't be who I am now without
your teachings and cares.


" I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up" - Psalm 27: 10

Wedding for the Deserved

23 rd July 2011 would be the most important day for Jenny & Michael, as they joined together, hand in hand as husband and wife.

From the my deepest heart, I congratulated them wholeheartedly and was truly privileged to be one of the witnesses. It was a blessed wedding that she deserves.I have known Jenny as a woman who truly love God and through her testimonies, I have been greatly encouraged. She forgave and stood strong in her times of turmoil and even her best friend called her ' God's princess.' As I looked at her on her wedding day, I know that she is so fulled of joy.Whatever pains and sorrow she had in the past, God has always known. And He has especially created that day for Jenny. For she truly deserved it. My brother Michael, and sister Jenny, God bless you both for your new walk of life.

My love for piano..

I know I have drifted away from my path since 5 years ago. The days where I spent for music, live for music, with piano as my lover...The solitary hours in practice room... the breath that I used to hold each day.. Wishing to turn back the time, yet it is impossible. However inside me, the burning desire still persist.. and every time I listen to the tune..  I wish I could go back there.  No matter what I do, no matter what I toil for, alas ! My love of music still prevail. It is in me and it will never change. The whole emotion and body feel so much alive when it comes to me.  Yes, regret exists, however.. mistake has been made. I should have appreciated this in the past, I should have stayed focus on track... Surely the presence taught me to look for the future.. There is still hope. The love for music is still with me. .How much I dream for standing in the middle of the stage again.. I hope that I would be able to play in a recital once more.. Yes, in a grand hall, being poured by all the lights.  Yet, for now.. I surrender my desire to You... the inmost me... I dedicate my art to You.... I have my dreams. but let Your will be done.

Destined for a new journey

Months have passed alongside with changes that occur. April 2011 marks the beginning of the new chapter of my life. Indulging in nostalgia, I picture myself as a solitary figure, almost silhouette, walking alongside the wave of gentle ocean during sunset. Step by step, my feet touched the sandy soil, smooth and rough at the same time. And there seemed to be no time limit, just a setting, just a moment.

Sometimes, my feet bleed when the shells cracked my skin, disturbed. Sometimes, the bitter cold wrapped against me, as if pushing me to retreat. And many times, countless tears fought trying to win the storm of life. However, I move forward. Not knowing when it would end.

Like an ugly duckling who wondered around searching for identity, I had lived that kind of life. Thirsty to know 'who I really am', and I had been hunting for the answers for eons and ended up in myriad of human sorrows and heartaches. Being lost, I would have fallen into deep darkness...

Amazingly, grace is calling. And destiny would never fail. When you have been chosen, you couldn't run away. Miracles offer an unthinkable direction and I responded. Indeed, when a good shepherd is He, my Lord would never let me go astray. I have returned to the purpose of life. And I have cherished the new identity that would never be taken away. A meant to be, like the miracle that transformed the swan.

Yes, I am still a lady who loves solitude. I am the same melancholic fellow who appreciates aesthetic beauty of arts, music and literature, a sure idealist person with complex personality, yet undeniably, towards the better. I have founded my calling. I have discovered the new beauty, the intimate presence of The Lord of the universe, how great Thou art. Reasons behind I understand naught, wisdom of man would never attain to comprehend. Never would I expect the bestowing of such privilege. Only I know, it is an honour to heed. What I have before would all be secondary and I am pursuing the higher voice, the higher purpose, even though prices have to be paid.

and now, though there are only one set of footprints, my Lord carries me. Our sights couldn't see, but faith does. And He will never leave me nor forsake me evermore.

Dedicated to : my beloved brothers and sisters whom have been sent by Him to bless me. My gratitude towards all of you. God bless.